He told me he loved me and wanted to be with me forever, he then took my virginity and began to slowly treat me worse.
My head felt seriously messed up by him towards the end of the "relationship", he'd ring me telling me how sorry he was and that he never meant to hurt me, then he'd come see me, I felt vulnerable and wanted his love more than anything, we'd have sex and then he'd ignore me afterwards until the next time. I was left feeling completely used and he's shown no remorse, despite the fact I was a stupid naive 16 year old and he was 24.
After it happened, he told people that I'd cheated on him and tried to shift the blame from himself, basically trying to cover what he'd done and make me look bad. I feel like he stole a part of me. He now has a new girlfriend and I have a new boyfriend, but I still feel damaged about what happened and it makes me angry the fact that he's now happy, because I feel like he's left me with emotional scars just so he could satisfy his own selfishness.
My new boyfriend said that he could get some of his friends to scare my ex, not anything huge, but shake him up a little. I'm very tempted because I feel like he doesn't deserve to have no consequences for what he did. Also, he knows people that have done stuff like it before, so they know what they're doing.
So what would you do if you were in my situation?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't know where you are from, but that is called statuary rape where I'm from. Revenge is never the right thing to do. It makes you just as low as he is. I'd be more concerned that you new boyfriend thinks it's okay to have "his boys" do something like this. That's what gangs do and you never know what your ex will do afterwards. He can go to the police and you along with your new thug can be arrested and charged with several crimes. I know what he did to you was a terrible thing. I understand that it really hurt you to your core. I also understand wanting revenge, but it doesn't justify revenge. You need to take this as a life lesson and get past it. You are an adult now and have to deal with this as an adult. Life can be really hard on us sometimes, but you don't let it turn you into a bad person. I truly wish you the best.1
Most Helpful Girl
hi there, i feel for you honestly and understand where you are coming from and how you express your feelings. these are yours and yours alone and no one here can effect that, you are justified and do what you will. however, firstly you were not naive, never were, he had the power over you and that does not make you naive. men of this kind of character will always prey on vulnerable people, its the only way its works easiest in their favour to control. they always blame others for everything, this rarely changes in a lifetime, you however have been through one experience and come out of it with a clever mentality and insight which is a gift for you to take with you your whole life, by shifting your view point just a little takes away the last of his power over you, be it in your mind only, by moving on and being happy with your life and have nothing but pity for him as such a selfish, mean soul removes you from the hurt he caused. his actions will have effects on his life he will not find a true compassionate unconditional love if he continues his behaviour. these kinds of people love to feel they still affect you so by removing yourself from him totally is the best thing you can do. See yourself as a soul who was and still is trusting and caring and thats where you have already achieved more than he, let it go, there is such a thing as a karma, what goes around comes around, this may sound difficult but every time you think of him and it creates a negative energy in you, stop and turn it around, im passed you, you have no power over me, i hope you find good in yourself, this is coming from experience and even if one little bit of this helps you ill be happy xx0