He told me he loved me and wanted to be with me forever, he then took my virginity and began to slowly treat me worse.
My head felt seriously messed up by him towards the end of the "relationship", he'd ring me telling me how sorry he was and that he never meant to hurt me, then he'd come see me, I felt vulnerable and wanted his love more than anything, we'd have sex and then he'd ignore me afterwards until the next time. I was left feeling completely used and he's shown no remorse, despite the fact I was a stupid naive 16 year old and he was 24.
After it happened, he told people that I'd cheated on him and tried to shift the blame from himself, basically trying to cover what he'd done and make me look bad. I feel like he stole a part of me. He now has a new girlfriend and I have a new boyfriend, but I still feel damaged about what happened and it makes me angry the fact that he's now happy, because I feel like he's left me with emotional scars just so he could satisfy his own selfishness.
My new boyfriend said that he could get some of his friends to scare my ex, not anything huge, but shake him up a little. I'm very tempted because I feel like he doesn't deserve to have no consequences for what he did. Also, he knows people that have done stuff like it before, so they know what they're doing.
So what would you do if you were in my situation?
Most Helpful Guy
I'd let by gones be by gones, because you don't know anything about his relationship or his life now aside from social media and stories. For all you know he's miserable. Or maybe he really is that happy. But you also don't know if he feels guilt or shame for the things he did. Maybe he's paying for it in other ways. Maybe his destiny is to be a shitbag and always will be a shitbag. You don't know and it's not your job to know. It's your job to make the best of your situation and improve what you can control.
I don't respect guys that offer to go after ex boyfriends, because regardless of whether or not you're telling the 100% truth. He doesn't know that. He only knows what you tell him and what your ex did may or may not be wrong. Maybe he came by it honestly. It's irrelevant. What's important right now is that you are committing too much of your energy in your ex and he's got your headspace. Even if you "get him back" for what he did, nothing is going to change for you. You will still be where you're at emotionally. You may even begin to feel guilty for what you did down the road and feel even worse.
Do yourself a favor and decide to act in a way that you personally can feel proud of when viewing yourself. "Forgive" him/let go of the negative emotions around your ex to the best of your ability. Deal with your own issues and let yourself move on. Moving on is dumping the bullshit. Not just being with a new person.0
Most Helpful Girl
hi there, i feel for you honestly and understand where you are coming from and how you express your feelings. these are yours and yours alone and no one here can effect that, you are justified and do what you will. however, firstly you were not naive, never were, he had the power over you and that does not make you naive. men of this kind of character will always prey on vulnerable people, its the only way its works easiest in their favour to control. they always blame others for everything, this rarely changes in a lifetime, you however have been through one experience and come out of it with a clever mentality and insight which is a gift for you to take with you your whole life, by shifting your view point just a little takes away the last of his power over you, be it in your mind only, by moving on and being happy with your life and have nothing but pity for him as such a selfish, mean soul removes you from the hurt he caused. his actions will have effects on his life he will not find a true compassionate unconditional love if he continues his behaviour. these kinds of people love to feel they still affect you so by removing yourself from him totally is the best thing you can do. See yourself as a soul who was and still is trusting and caring and thats where you have already achieved more than he, let it go, there is such a thing as a karma, what goes around comes around, this may sound difficult but every time you think of him and it creates a negative energy in you, stop and turn it around, im passed you, you have no power over me, i hope you find good in yourself, this is coming from experience and even if one little bit of this helps you ill be happy xx0