What am I supposed to do?

My girlfriend is always talking about her ex. Let's call him Alex. I can tell she still cares about him but I love her and she tells me the same. She said though that she "still and always will love him but my focus is on you right now". I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I know he still tells her he loves her and wants to be with her but it wasn't until I started dating her that he even came back into the picture. Tonight she asked if I would be "OK" with her "seeing him on last time and not to ask what happened.". I told her that I was scared for us of him. I told her I loved her. I told her I doubted I could trust her afterward if I allowed it. Then she changed the subject like she always does when he comes up without any answer to what to do about us and him. Though she always brings him up in the first place. He was her first everything though she is still a virgin and so am I. He is two years older than us both. But her and I are the same age.

What in the f*** am I supposed to do?

Breakup?

Force her to talk?

Get him to leave(forcibly which I can do though she said she would leave me if I hurt him or got him hurt in any way)?

Other ideas?


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What Girls Said 2

  • oh my. tell her that it wouldn't be good for your relationship if she saw him.

    It really wouldn't.

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  • I'm sorry. Something like this happened to me and it didn't end up so well.

    She either has to care about you or him more.

    If she cares about you more, than you need to say "If you care about me more and love me more than you do with him, than don't go for us."

    If she cares about him more, than you need to let her.

    If she breaks up with her because you think it's unfair that you don't think she should see him, than it's obvious that something was going to happen.

    With her saying "don't ask what happened" that probably means she's thinking about cheating on you with him.

    ...what happened with me is basically my boyfriend went over his ex's house and I cried and told him not to go, but I got him p*ssed off so he went over and he had sex with her. we're still together and it happened a few months ago and we've been together for like 2 years and 6 months, but still. it's been well over 2 years and he still could have done that to me.

    You need to find out who she cares about me.

    And I'm sorry this is happening to you, it's sucks a lot.

    But I do hope she says that she cares about you more because if she doesn't than she's not worth it.

    Ohhh tell her that you're hurt and if you cry *because if that's how you are really feeling* than cry in front of her. it will probably show how much you don't want her to go.

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