Should I worry because my boyfriend won't stop talking to his ex?

Her ex is known to be manipulative, which is why I don't feel comfortable with him talking to her. She had told him that she wants him back.. really bad. I know this because my boyfriend told me. He is very honest with me and says I don't have to worry because he loves me. So I do trust him. However, I am still uncomfortable with it because he told me that he has told he told his ex that "he would get back with her if he wasn't with me and if she had changed". I told him numerous times I'm not comfortable with him seeing her. And he says "but she is a fun person to hang with". And still insists on talking/hanging out with her.

I feel like all its going to take is them to hang out and suddenly she'll sway him to date her again, etc.

Should I be worried? For the summer, I am staying with my family in another state, and he wants to fly down to where my family is so he can meet them. So I know he does care about me. (Btw, we've been dating for 5 almost 6 months now) But again.. he refuses to stop seeing her. If she is the only topic of our arguments and he loved me so much, why would it be such a hassle to stop talking to her?

Am I wrong in this? Or do I have a right to worry?

-Nervous Wreck


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Most Helpful Guy

  • ok, I think anyone can relate as to why you are a little uneasy here...i do think his honesty is a plus, for sure...i would be a little worried as well...who wouldnt?

    now, you have to make him convince you that its you that he wants and not her, its not fair for you to hear "id get back with you if I wasn't with her and you had changed" so what he's saying if you dumped him he'd jump right back to her? that's not being in love with you, that's being selfish.

    number one, people share a lot with their boyfriend/girlfriend and become very close for it, maybe they are just really good friends and he doesn't want to lose her friendship...im very good friends with my ex and we get along great(well sometimes lol). number two, he should respect you in a way that you are uncomfortable with him talking to her, which means he needs to watch what he says, how he says it, he needs you to feel comfortable with him talking to her and he needs to prove as long as you guys are for real that he won't have any intentions of getting back with her.

    i know its a messy situation, but I think you both have to meet at a median here and try to resolve this issue as quickly and friendlty as possible (dont yell, stay clam, be relaxed) you both should respect each others wishes...

    hope this helps

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're not wrong, but you're also not right. You have the right to worry, but personally I don't think you should. If he really loves you, nothing his ex-girlfriend does is going to change that.. Regardless of how fun he thinks she is, it won't matter in the end, because he's choosing you right now instead of her.

    It's not right to think that if he really loved you, he'd stop hanging out with her. That's a controlling attitude which guys really hate, and it indicates you don't trust him.

    As long as he isn't spending waaay too much time with her (as in, he'd rather go out with her than be with you, or he'll cancel plans of being with you, to hang out with her), then you shouldn't worry.

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  • Yes worry, he's not over her, might get back with her, using you to make her jealous or turn her into a friends with benefits and hook up with both of you... YOu can't be friends with an ex, can't move on get over her etc...

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What Girls Said 3

  • You certainly have a right to worry. He's keeping her in the picture so if things go wrong with you he already has a rebound. If he loves you he should respect your feelings and keep his ex in the past. He knows you're not comfortable with it but nothing has changed. He should take you to meet her so you can see if there really is any need to worry. If she's just a friend he shouldn't have a problem with this. Plus it's reiterating to his ex that he is in a relationship

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  • Ask him if he still as feelings for his ex

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  • I don't know if you and your boy are still together since this was written a month ago but I'll answer anyway.

    I can totally relate to how you feel because my boyfriend had this I guess you can say his best friend ( not an ex but a best friend ) that he would always hang out with. I told him that I was uncomfortable with him hanging out with her. He didn't get the hint. He would still hang out with her everyday. But he did assure me that he loved me and only me and that his "best friend" was only his friend and nothing more. I believed him and just held my tongue because I'm not one to tell my boyfriends who they can and can't hang out with. Biggest regret. One day things went a little too far and we were having an argument about her. I said some stuff about her that I wouldn't have wanted her to know. But my boyfriend confided in her and told her everything I told him. And in a way he was talking sh** about me to her. He lost my trust right then and there when I found out.. I forgave him but I strictly told him that he could not hang out, talk, see, or whatever with her anymore because I already gave him a chance to prove his words saying that he loved me more but he failed to prove to me that his words were actually true.

    This is my story. I say you have absolutely 120% to worry about this. Also an extra right to worry more because she is his ex. Don't wait until he slips and does something wrong to tell him that he can't see her anymore. Tell him that it bothers you and that you'd like it better if he stopped seeing her and if he really loved you he will do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable. If he can't let her go as a friend he sure as hell ain't letting her go as an ex lover. Good luck.

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