I am ashamed to say that I still commit text/phone terrorism after 8 weeks of splitting up. Last night it wasn't a begging call I was actually trying to get him to answer so I could tell him I didn't want to speak to him anymore...I'm still in love with him and being 'friends' is really hard and he's said a couple of times "I'll speak to you if you want".
He doesn't really give me any signs he actually wants to be friends, i.e it's always me who initiates contact on Facebook, text him, call him. He speaks to me but sometimes seems disinterested and only rings when he's drunk and I haven't called for a few days and he wonders why. Also, when he phones he only rings once and I call him back.
SO... why does he put up with text/phone terrorism and speak to me if he is acting like he doesn't want me back?
P.S It's very small but he did send me one of those joke emails before I'd spoken to him but he has stopped putting kisses in his messages and online when he goes. Sometimes I think he makes me jealous as well like joking about threesomes when he's on holiday.
Any advice would be a great help
Most Helpful Guy
I think one reason why he might be waiting for you to initiate contact besides what everyone else has already said, but because he has gotten so used to it. So to him it could be expected for him to wait contact from you. It could be that he feels (as idiotic as this may sound) when you contact him, that you care for him, and if he was the one to initiate it then he might be thinking, well does she want me to contact her. That could be one thing.
On another note when he says I will talk to you if you want, that could mean that he is a nice guy and doesn't want to hurt you. Meaning he doesn't really care for you in that way anymore but if it helps you feel better to talk to him he will, regardless if that is what he wants or not. The only bad thing is about him saying what everything he is saying, it could be interpreted multiple different ways. The other meaning could be, he is telling you that because he wants to talk to you, but he isn't exactly sure you want to talk. That you are only talking to him in the first place to make him feel better. That what you are doing is what I explained at the beginning of the paragraph what he could be doing to you; that you are doing that to him. I know girls who will initiate contact with their exes that they really don't want to talk to, nor really want to be friends with, but still talk to them because they don't know how to let go of their ex without hurting them.
The only way I know for this to be all figured out is you have to be straight to be point. I'm not sure how girls are when guys give obvious hints, but a lot of guys are confused even if the girl is giving him the most obvious hint in the world. Our brains would think logically not emotionally onto why you are doing this. We will draw multiple conclusions from all of this and usually think its the worse of the worse instead of what the girl is really trying to get across. So be forward with the guy, and tell him he needs to be dead honest. Even if it is brutal. If you still love him and want to be with him as in a couple. Then tell him that, express your feelings. However, if he is a really nice and polite guy, he might change what he says even though he will claim to being honest, in order not to hurt you. So I would say try and get him to say what he wants first. Does he want to be just friends, great friends, no friends at all or boyfriend and girlfriend.
Theres more I want to say even though I have already written a novel, but I don't exactly know how to put it in words at this moment. So hopefully what I just said helps you out at least in the slightest.0