My ex and I broke up last weekend. It was the right thing to do given the circumstances that occurred and that's that. We were together over a year so I am sad things haven't worked out because I did love him. The main feeling I have though is anxiety. Every morning I wake up and I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. I know it's there throughout the day too but I don't notice it as much because I keep busy. I can't understand why I have anxiety over it though. I also had anxiety when my first ex broke up with me but it was on a much larger scale and again was so confused about why I was experiencing it. Anyone have any idea why we feel anxiety while going through a break up?
Most Helpful Guy
Bummed it didn't work out for you. While there are others claiming this might not be anxiety, I can affirm this has happened to me as well.
Judging by the looks of it, I feel it happens to people who are more emotionally attached to their partners than the others. I for one, am a very emotionally person and being in a relationship makes me feel secure. And once you're out of it, you're hit by a multitude of emotions; All at the same time. I'll break down these for you.
1. Sense of insecurity: Have you ever wanted someone to escort you through a dark room, or to be right besides you until you switch on the lights as a child? Think of the dark room as our lives. The normal person wants someone to accompany through this journey called life. You thought you found someone so special, he held your hand through that particular period of time, and now you're left all alone again with no one to help you to switch the lights on again? Your fear turns to anxiety.
2. Jealousy: Yes it exists. You can't completely detach your feelings immediately after a break up. And now you're forced to think about who his next girlfriend might be? Perhaps you're still possessive about him and you want him to stay single but you fear that's not possible? Will she be better than you? Will he treat her better than me? Fear is yet again the culprit here.
3. Broken dreams: Hey we've all dreamt big in a relationship and you're no different. I had the problem of projecting my life twenty years into the future whenever I went from being single into a relationship. I'd think about getting married, getting rich together, having kids, travelling together and building fortune together. But now you've broken up, it's all gone. You feel hopeless, depressed and scared of what the future holds. Scared of being alone perhaps? Consciously or subconsciously you're scared.
4. Losing a friend: Your partner may have been a good friend before all this happened, you grew attached to him and now that he's gone, he feels dead to you. You can smell death of a beautiful friendship. Sure you've agreed to be just friends, but you know deep inside it just won't be the same anymore. You've been accustomed to be attached to him and now he's gone. I've certainly been in there, and I can tell you it feels and it smells like death.
Hope it helped. I'd be more than welcome to suggest how to get out of it. :)
Most Helpful Girl
Its totally normal. It's your body grieving. Even though it was for the best, you still feel the loss and your body and mind will go through severals stages over time until you feel normal again. Its good that you recognoze when you are busy you dont notice as much. The best thig you can do is to stay as busy as possible for some time. slowly the anxienty will subside, you may even have other emotions come into play. All normal. just stay active, be healthy and eventually all that will remain are fond memories of a past expreience.
good luck <31