Should I try to get my ex boyfriend back?

My boyfriend of a little over a year broke up with me via text message on Saturday. For around a week before that he had said he "didn't know what he wanted" and needed time to think because we had fought a lot the past winter and he thought I was too sensitive, and took things the wrong way sometimes. That week I begged for him to stay and promised I would not longer get mad but he wasn't talking to me. We had exams that week and we live far apart so school is a mutual place and I realized I had his blazer and texted him to ask him to meet me to get it because I didn't want to forget it at school for the summer. He had to go to a lunch that day and he never texted me to get it but he did text me and say "idk I need a break" and I got really upset and he took it back because he didn't want me to be sad. But we didn't talk much Friday because I was so upset but I didn't want to loose him. Then Saturday morning he told me he needed to breakup and since then I texted him to ask him who to give his stuff to and no response. I texted him the day after that and asked to be friends because I don't want to be enemies or have things be awkward and no response. Then the next day I texted him and just said that "I'm trying to get over this and I don't want to be clingy and have your stuff and you're the one who dumped me so don't you want to make it final?idk I don't get it...and I don't want to wait to give it back because then it will be even more awkward I'm just trying to make this easy for you" no response to that text either. His best friend just got out of a relationship and none of his other good friends have girlfriends right now so I think his friends might have had something to do with it. I have no idea what to do now. Help!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • STOP CONTACTING HIMMMMMMMMM, you're giving him the power, you need to STOP CONTACTING HIM NOW...you've texted him 3 times w/o a response, please for your own good stop...this is the time you just stop texting EVEN IF HE DOES...number 1) you're doing this because it will help you clear your mind, you need this for yourself...number 2) you're doing this to sort of trick him into thinking you don't care anymore and you're just like whatever...number 3) you're doing this because its necessry weather you get back or not...

    being friends with an ex is hard especially shortly after the break up - too many emoitions still in the air...give him time, let him see what life is like w/o you, if you're always there he'll never know and just assume you'll always be there...if he texts you and you absolutly haev to respond, wait 15-20 min then give him a quick short answer .

    ex)

    him- how are you?

    you (15 min later) - good

    him - what are you up to

    you - no response...

    this will make him tick, his mind will be wondering why you aren't responding, what you're doing, if you still care...by only saying good instead of good how are you, he'll be totally confused

    right now HE has the power because HE broke up with you, he feels that you're the one going to try adn get him back, so switch the tables...sure you can hope to get back with him, but prepare for the worst, you're young I'm sure ther are plenty of other guys willing to give you what you want, hey you never know, maybe this is exactly what you need w/o knowing it

    just take things slow, don't talk to him often, be short, stay active, stay busy...try going tot he gym, when my ex broke up with me it helped tremendously and I still go because tis such a good stress reliever, I become more confident and I feel great...

    anyways I hope this helps, just try cutting contact a little more, show him you're not desperate and HES the one missing out...otherwise take this relationship as a lesson and remember what NOT to do in the next one you get into :)

    good luck

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    • I haven't texted him since he hasn't responded and don't plan on it...if he comes back to me that's great and maybe I'll take him back if he tries but if he doesn't whatever I'll find someone else better because clearly it wasn't meant to be.

      i just wonder why if he doesn't love me or like me or whatever...wouldn't he want his stuff back?

      so confused.

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    • I would do that except I have his expensive blazer that he wears to school...and that would be bitchy if I threw it out.

    • No it wouldn't be bitchy...you aren going to text him or leave him a vamil saying "youre a d*** I'm throwing your crap out" .... you simply say look I've tried contacting you and tried giving you back your stuff...i have no use for it, if I don't hear from you by the end of the week I'm going to toss these or donate them somewhere....thats FAIR warning....hold onto the texts incase he tries to be a d*** and get other involved...you need to make it clear your making an effort and he isn't

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Ok, first of all no decent person breaks up with someone via text. It's not appropriate or respectful. That's red flag number 1. When someone say's they don't know what they want that can be interpreted as they don't want to be with you. I'm a very sensitive person too, and some people can't handle it.

    The first rule in getting your ex back is not to beg or get upset. No one will take someone back who appears needy.

    It sounds like he wanted to break up with you, and probably won't get back with you. And if he is influenced by his friends, you don't want him back. You want someone who can think independently.

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  • Just try to keep your mind off him is all I have to say. It would be nice if he gave you some closure but we all know what kind of guy he is. Breaks up with you over text msg? Doesn't really explain why? If he cared about you, he would have replied...Sorry, I think he is an ass and it is good you are moving on from your comment I saw...

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