Girls, Should I contact her to let her know that I honestly understand about the breakup and her focusing on herself?

ex girlfriend was in an emotionally abusive marriage before me. Our relationship went great, we had a brief split up when she first started having some problems, realizing she can't truly love me. We started dating again 2 weeks later.

Recently, while things seemed great again, she broke it off, saying she really needed to focus on healing, that she's tried to love, but just can't. At first I tried reasoning with her, then trying to explain I wanted to be there and apologized for anything I did wrong. Then told her I needed to get my key back and asked to talk then. She mailed the key to me with a letter saying she has been trying to get me to understand all she can focus on is herself in order to heal, and since I haven't been understanding, that we shouldn't be in contact.

I did a lot of checking into the exact problems she has been having, reading up on it all, and figured out what she's been getting at, that I can't be of any help and with us dating it's pressuring her, that's just a brief sum of everything I read.

Im wondering if I should text her to tell her I understand now and thought I did in the past but was wrong? She's a great person and it kills me to think I'd lose touch with her.


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What Girls Said 1

  • She might not be wanting to get back with you. She has severe issues. But if you really feel something then tell her. Let her know you don't want to lose her and if she needs space you'll give it to her but you just wanted to let her know that. Tell her if she doesn't feel the same then please don't lead you on and have me waiting for something that you won't ever have again.

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    • I'll be honest, I think the reason for not thinking we should be in touch is because I wasn't quite able to understand, I thought I did, but I didn't, I was trying to be of help, being supportive, she knew that, I know she isn't wanting me to be hurt is her reason. Even though she mailed me my key, she is still willing to talk, we just don't know when because I'm not going to travel 70 miles for a 15 minute conversation after working 12-14 hours

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    • I'm certain there's nobody else, for one, she wouldn't bring another man into her life because she wouldn't want to do that to her kids plus how her family would see it. she said she needs to be alone and be happy with herself. She is the type that only has female friends. Using me, I really say she wasn't, she never asked anything of me and gave just as much in return. I think it's actually hurting her just as much if not more because I was more of a father to her youngest than her ex husband is. I'm not trying to be blind to anything, but knowing how devoted she is to her family, she wouldn't do that to them, especially because of the kids

    • I am actually focusing on myself at this point, I haven't even tried to be in touch with her over the past week. I have my times, such as sitting at home with nothing to do, that things bother me. Just doing things for myself, trying to enjoy my life, but there's many times I wonder how she is doing.

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