Should I put my life on hold for Passive Aggressive Husband?

My husband was abused as a child (mentally/physically/sexually) and he didn't know this until recently. He hadn't thought about it. He thought it was normal and would praise his upbringing. He used to lie, for little pointless things - anything to not face up to his mistakes. And the moment He was caught was the beginning of this realisation. He has recently made a statement to the police and they're following it up. With me he can be nice one moment and then I get the cold shoulder for days. And then ok again, expecting me to forget with no more words about it!!! With everyone outside our home, he is Mr Nice.
He has recently admitted to me that he thinks he has a lot of anger locked inside and his parents did block him from feeling anger, and praised him for his wisdom, but it scares me that he uses similar tactics on our children. I blame this blocking of anger on his sexual abuse (family friend) I doubt it would've happened if he was allowed to express his feelings and talk to his parents openly. I do feel sorry for him but he is driving me crazy. Grumpy, miserable, he drains my energy. When he is away for work for a few days, our life lifts and we are content- and then he returns. He knows he has problems but for how long should I put my life and the children's life on hold for him to get better?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Is he actually getting better? Is he working on it?

    • Since starting Mindfulness he hears voices and saw a ghost moving things - angrily. Every other help seems so slow coming. Or is he delaying? He started anti depressants a few months ago but stopped as he thought he didn't need them. I've begged him to leave and now he's sleeping outside in the caravan every night he still comes waltzing in the morning and gets the children out of bed... and when he's around I can hardly move as I don't know when will he be in a bad mood next. He could sit sipping coffee for 2 hours one day depressed whilst I'm rushing around getting the kids and myself ready, and other days he will go out of his way to help and do everything - stopping me from doing my usual chores :(

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