If a man cheated before is he always a cheater even if its been years? Or do they learn from it?

Dated a man 5 years he technically didn't cheat on me but was dating me and the mother of his child having sex with both of us and lied to both of us in the end he ended up with me for five years and i felt like i was on him like white on rice to make sure it didn't happen being that she is the mother of his child she never left the picture now she's single and is his brothers neighbor he goes over to his brothers house to hang all the time now u know everything that crosses my mind i dont know what to do but i jumped the gun and broke up with him said u dont want to spend my time jeolous and worried if i know if i can't trust him its time to let him go im exhausted of making sure he's faithful

Updates:
We were just dating not in a relationship but rhe mother of his child caused hell for years after for the fact that he ended up with me and not her

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've cheated before, yes it can be a thrill. but most douchebags will. say "once a cheater, always a cheater" that's a wanna be, cry baby "poor me" attitude. You do learn from it, if he's married, don't bother with him. I'm married, never cheated on my wife. nor will I ever. so ignore the people saying the whole "once a cheater..." crap.

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    • Thanks but your so young age changes everything when i was in my 20's i didn't want to get married because i didn't believe in happily ever after now i long for it because im hopeful that it does exsit and feel like i deserve it

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    • You are very young, still so much to learn. You will make a ton of mistakes and learn from it (hopefully ). But that's not a mistake cheating, you know what you are doing. It's not like you tripped and feel inside another woman. I do hope you never cheat again. It is possible to change if you want to hard enough.

    • thanks Paul, but I've done my fair share of messing around and I've made a lot of mistakes.. that's one that I won't make again

Most Helpful Girl

  • I took a cheater back and you just never get over it, it's always going to worry you no matter how much you try not let it pretend it doesn't or think he's changed, it just never goes away.

    This was the first guy I trusted 1000000% until he fucked me over.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • mmmmm... I'd say people can change but like. take it slow. be his friend first. trust has to be earned. People can always change though, and love and mistakes are powerful tools.

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  • You should break up with him. If he loved you, he would make it clear to you. I myself go out of my way to assure my girlfriend my love and devotion to her. I can tell she loves it. She has full access to my phone, email and Facebook. I have full access to my girlfriend's phone and etc.

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  • Once a cheater always a person who has cheated.. Dont call someone who cheated once a cheater...

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  • I wouldn't trust anyone ever if they cheated on me. It can't get worse than cheating on someone.

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    • Well we were dating not in a monogamous relationship. But he did lie about sleeping with some one else after i asked

    • Is dating not a monogamous thing? Regardless, if this guy had sex with someone else while you were dating him I wouldn't trust him. Maybe I just don't understand.

    • Your right guess thats why i dont trust him. Thanks for your take

  • They pretty much stay the same.

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  • Everybody is different I can't give an answer that will apply to everybody

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What Girls Said 9

  • Nah my boyfriend cheated with his last girlfriend. We've been dating for almost 2 years and we're very open and in a happy relationship. He wasn't justified and should have broken up with her but it was his first relationship and it sucked so bad but he didn't want to lose all his friends (he did by the way :/). I wouldn't get back with someone who had cheated on me but dating someone who cheated on a different person is another thing in my opinion.

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  • Once a cheater always a cheater

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  • If it makes you uneasy go with your gut. I would be leary of a man willing to date one woman and have children with another simultaneously

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  • I reckon people can change, but if you still can't trust him there's literally no point being in a relationship with him

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  • Eh I don't know, I always believe in second chance. I believe people can change. That's me.

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  • Honestly, most men will keep on cheating. But it really just depends on the guy.

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  • Once a cheater, always a cheater.

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  • in my opinion once a cheater always a cheater.

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  • you learn.

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