Is it immature of me not to allow the girl my boyfriend was cheating on me with, around my babies?

my boyfriend and I were together for 2 years. He cheated on me and left me pregnant with his twins at 32 weeks pregnant. The girl knows who I am, knows I'm pregnant and has done this anyways. I have to deal with him but I don't want her around, she trash talks me and keeps doing my ex from working with me in terms of our babies and our finances. I went into pre term labor and she was preventing him from attending. I just don't want her around until much longer down the road.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why is he coming physically?
    He can pay you through mail no?

    If she is as bad as you described, I wouldn't be comfortable having her know where you live. You will be alone with 2 babies soon. How do you know if she maybe up to no good to your babies in the future if they are drunk or on drugs.
    People's priority on drugs are money. The day when he has no money he maybe harmful to you/your kids. ( At that point you can use restraining oder)
    For now, I would not want her to know where you live for a lonnnnnnngggggg time... Till you know things are more settle between you and your ex.
    If he damaged your car before, he can do other things I worry.

    I am sorry if this upsets you.

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    • It's okay I'm truly worried my self.. I'm trying to obtain a lawyer but it's hard to do preparing for the babies by myself.. I'm scared because his parents have money.. with a girl who is okay with the choices she's made I question her stability

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    • Megan,
      WD2017 is right. I have been chatting with you since you two broke up and he cheated on you... based on the dates... you were not pregnant when he cheating back then. This is my new account, (you can friend me)... Sorry if he (and I) sounded harsh. The reality is, you are now under a lot of stress, pressure dealing with the children w/o support. He is not mature enough to have a kid with.
      take good care of yourself. Be smart about what you have to do dealing with him. Are you getting help from home? anyone?

      I was dating a guy with the same issue. But he was a nice guy, very helpful to me and my kid. But due to his habits, i decided to not have him be closer to me and my kid. I did find out i became pregnant. I couldn't tell him i had to make my own decision to not keep the baby.

    • Gotcha ya this isn't the first time he's caused problems in our relationship... however the cheating before ended up being addressed and the accuser denied ever saying it... so I gave the benifiet of the doubt foolishly

      I don't mind harshness just want to be making the best choices possible from the mess I created

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What Guys Said 18

  • Legally, he has a right to see the kids, if he is paying the child support. You did file for that, and go to court, right?
    As far as the B$^%&& he is with, you HAVE EVERY RIGHT, to tell her to FCK OFF!! She has NO RIGHTS TO YOUR CHILDREN!! File a restraining order, if you think she is irresponsible and could hurt them!!
    I'm sorry that one my my gender was such a TOTAL D-BAG, leaving you, like that!! He is probably the BEST example of WHAT NOT TO BE, AS A MAN!!!
    Do you have any friends, or family, to help you?

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    • I wouldn't ever keep away from them, they aren't even born yet. However today he was supposed to come to my house to pay for the criminal damage he did to my car. He told me he was bringing her and I got really upset I don't feel it's right for him to bring her to the home we shared together.. I feel it's too soon

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    • Ok thank you

    • You should not give legal advice if you are not a lawyer. I'm sure that you have good intentions but your legal advice us incorrect.

  • He is the father of the children and, if he acknowledges paternity, he has a right to spend time with the children. She has no right to be around the children and he should acknowledge that and keep her away.

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    • I wouldn't ever keep him away unless he gets back on drugs... I just don't want her around.

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    • Don;t allow him to have any access to the baby other than under your supervision and don;t allow visitation if you think he is under the influence.

    • Absolutely

  • You're in the right

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  • If the reason you don't want her around is just because of the cheating, then yes, it is immature. If the reason you don't want her around is because he tries to pull him out of this situation, then its not really immature and absolutely understandable.

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    • Because of the 2 conflicting answers, I did not vote on the poll.

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    • No need to thank me, thank YOU for being such a nice and calm person that you haven't already introduced her face to your fist

    • She isn't worth the assault charges lol

  • No it's not

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  • No that's honestly one of the better decisions one coukd make in that situation.

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  • If it were the other way around and my girlfriend brought her new boyfriend around my kids I would probably beat him into an inch of his life and tell him to never even look at my kids again. So no I do not think you are being immature.

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  • OK, so you say this guy is an "ex" drug addict, then you say he destroyed your car, and to top it off his new girlfriend is a psycho bitch.

    I can't fathom why you let yourself be impregnated by such scum, well it's your problem, but considering his track record, I recommend getting solid legal help from professionals instead of an internet forum. The words "restraining order" come to mind.

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    • Trust me this wasn't planned. I left him then found out I was pregnant 3 months later. I hoped he would Change with the news of being a dad and when I realized he wasn't gonna change we started discussing separating then I found out about the girl and that was that

    • Whoa, contraception accident? That sucks. My bet would be he won't change, so you gotta be selfish and think about yourself and the kids there.

  • not at all. you should kick her stupid ass instead

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    • Oh I want to but I'm afraid to do anything that will look bad against me in the court of law

  • No that's a natural feeling

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  • She's toxic, and the guy is a dick for cheating. They should both be out of your life.

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  • That's your mothering instincts already kicking in. That's a good thing...

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  • it's your ex who's immature, and his girlfriend who has psychological problems !

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  • They are your children, not hers. She has no rights and no say when it comes to them.

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  • no its reasonable

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  • ask both of them to f-off

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  • Two years isn't enough to getting to know a person plus having a baby with him while he is on the other side of town screwing some other chick. Get an AIDS test immediately or that's on you. You allowed this to happen by having unprotected sex with a man you foolishly thought you knew and you got played.

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  • i saw your pic and i like you i would like to take care of you. if you like private message me

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What Girls Said 5

  • No it's not immature, it's being wise . If you don't want a particular person around your baby, for any reason at all , then that's your prerogative.

    Personally, I wouldn't want a bitch like her that around my baby either. She's nothing to you or your baby , so she has no need to be around your child

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  • you do whatever you feel like you need to for yours and your babies health and happiness, being a new mum is tough, being a single new mum is tougher, being a single new mum to twins.. Well I bow down to that

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  • No its not. Hell just keep em both out of the picture. He can pay his child support and fuck off.

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  • It's not immature. I wouldn't allow her around my children either if I was you.

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  • no that's normal, she has no rights to be around ur babies

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