I've been friends with a girl that I met online about two years ago. Let's call her Emily. We still talk pretty often and we even decided to finally meet up together for vacation. On this vacation, I cheated on my girlfriend of 10 months and had sex with Emily. Before I went on vacation, my girlfriend said I could have sex but I would need to let her know before. Well, I didn't let my girlfriend know because I figured it would hurt her. In the past few months (even before the vacation), I realized our relationship probably won't l work out because we have different ideologies about how to live our lives in the future (e. g., with money, children, and career). I want to move on, however, my girlfriend has pretty bad depression and has been suicidal in the past. I would like to ask advice from people who have had experience breaking up with depressed partners.
Additionally, my friend Emily, has the most beautiful soul and personality that I have encountered. Instead of going right to Emily after breaking up eith my current girlfriend, would be wise for me to stay single for a while? Do I need to lessen my interaction with Emily during this time (we talk almost every day and we don't consider us a couple, but it might become different if I am single).
Most Helpful Girl
look, it's really sad. I really don't think that you should have cheated on her especially if she's depressed or suicidal. My advice would be this. Make her break up with you. Do things that she hates. Show her that there is no love left between the both of you. I shouldn't really be saying this and I feel really bad for her but if you want this relationship to end you're going to have to pull out all the stops and make her break up with you. For example, if she wants sex, say you don't want to, if she wants you to talk to her (this is important) tell her you don't have the time. then she'll probably be like" I'm you're girlfriend. you're supposed to make time for me." then you say" I'm sorry but I don't know if this is working out anymore" she'll be like" are you breaking up with me?" you say" I think that we both are too different and have conflicting goals and I don't know how that will work out. I just think that we should take a break" use those words!! take a break. then find her discreetly another guy. in the mean time continue talking to Emily just don't cheat on your girlfriend while you're still in the relationship0
Most Helpful Guy
Breaking up with a depressed person shouldn't burden your conscience more than breaking up with anyone else. A depressed adult doesn't need to be treated like a child, they are adults and should be treated as such. At the point that you don't want to be in a relationship with them anymore they are no longer your responsibility. They have their own life and should have their own support mechanisms, friends, family, etc. Your only moral obligation is to be honest. Tell them that it isn't working out and that you want to move on. Be kind about it but don't water it down. Don't let her reaction manipulate you into changing your decision, that serves nobody. Stick to your guns.
As for the other girl, that's really up to you. If you think that you can honestly make something happen with this girl without bringing in too much baggage from your existing relationship then go for it.2