How can I stop being the psycho/stalker ex-girlfriend?

Ok so before I start, I don't want any negative or mean responses, I would really appreciate if there could be some helpful, and familiar responses from people who have been through the same thing, that'd mean a lot, thanks!

I was with my ex for 2 1/2 years, madly in love with each other, both each other's first partners. He moved to Spain for a year with college, and is back in the summer. We ended things in January, mutual decision as always arguing and just unhappy, the relationship wasn't the issue, it was the distance.

Now 4 months on I can't get him out of my head. I stalk his social media, and the people who he lives with. I understand this is unhealthy and unproductive, but it is so hard getting over this, I cry near enough every day over him. I miss what we had so much, we've had little contact since and both recognised we weren't the issue, it was the distance and he would like to talk when he's home, but I don't want him to think he's got me to come home to if he's going to be seeing other people while he is single. I wish things weren't like this and we were still together.

How do I get him out of my head and move on? I hate being this unhappy and I haven't been the same person since. Please useful answers x


Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you still communicate with one another at all? Do you feel like you're still friends?

    • I wished him a happy birthday at the beginning of the month, and we spoke and got on really well and caught up with one another, it ended on good terms to be honest as it was mutual, it was the best for both of us. I still care a lot for him, and wish nothing but the best for him and he knows that. However I wouldn't want to be "friends", as I'll always see him as more of a friend if you understand me?

    • Show All
    • You're going to turn out stronger through this. ❤️

    • I know this is so much further down the line but I haven’t logged onto my account in months!
      I just want to say I really appreciated your advice, speaking to people like you who understand what type of situation you’re going through really help, and you really helped me!

      I’m in such a better place now, it’s actually sad to read how upset I was over him when he really wasn’t worth the tears! I hope you’re well and happy :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • go out and start doing stuff for you, meeting new people going new places and start living for you , if a bloke comes around in the mean time good on him but just start focusing on you :D

    • Thankyou! :) it's just so hard at the moment. I'm dealing with this and my final year of college so it's just added pressure and emotions so it's getting to me more.

    • feel your pain but try and focus on just your studies as once that is over you can go nuts haha

    • I suppose, I know I can relax haha!

  • Well you could practice Jhana. You have to learn to recognize how you are clinging to the person and end it. You can't get attached like that to something that is impermanent and changing. You are just experiencing the effects of such ignorant attachment.

  • You really need to get out there girl and meet some new people instead of sitting around regretting things.

    • I know, I understand that meeting someone new is probably the only way you get over someone. I've spoken to a few people but they just end up being absolute idiots, so that just pulls me back to square one. I've lost a lot of self esteem and confidence since the split :(

    • Its hard out there but you just gotta keep at it. At least enough to keep you busy from sulking so much, i mean if you really are looking for love.

    • Yeah I suppose things can only get better from here. It's delayed grief because it never hit me at first, I initiated the break up because we both knew it was coming sooner or later. But it's only hit me in the past couple weeks :(

  • I broke up with my now ex girlfriend cause of distance as well. We were both in Texas but she moved to Florida & we ended it the same way you guys did. The only thing I can suggest is take a break from serious dating & just have fun with friends. Get out, have new experiences & if you meet a guy or two like that then that's fine but nothing serious. Meet new people & enjoy your single life. no more tears girl! stay strong 💪 It gets better. trust me.

    • Thankyou so much :) it's so helpful when someone else is going through the same thing. It's hard isn't it, I always just wonder what will happen when he comes home but I'm not waiting for him, I have my life too. It's just a shame how it ended, because it ended like that, I don't feel like I ever got closure from it. Do you agree?

    • It's hard i agree but I had friends by my side that helped me get through it & time honestly healed. Right now I'm still trying to meet the right girl for me cause I know she's out there somewhere just like there's a guy for you. You just have to be patient & let it happen on its own without forcing it. i know a bunch of us guys are idiots haha but some of us are good sweet idiots lol just keep looking. & like i said, no more tears. You deserve the best. Don't settle for anything less. 💪

    • Thanks so much for your lovely words, it's nice when someone has been through a similar thing because you help each other through it, so your opinion has really helped me. It's tough when you know you both love each other but it's just not going to work. You're right, there's someone out there for all of us, and we will find them some day! I hope your doing well and are okay :) we will get through this!

  • All girls are psycho stalkers and there's nothing you can do about it.


What Girls Said 1

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