In love after an affair?

My husband and I were having a rough time. We fought all the time, barely spent time together, so I started spending more time with my bestfriend. by the way my bestfriend is male. And I found out we both had feelings for eachother since highschool... thats about four years... the time i spent with him while my husband and i were fighting was amazing. Honestly were perfect together. My husband asked for a divorce so i took a week-long roadtrip to vegas with my bestfriend/new lover. Along the way though i realized i didn't want to get divorced, my husband and i haven't been married one year and we have two children. I convinced my husband to work things out with me, its been two months since i came back from vegas. We have a new apartment, he has a new job, and we get along fine. The sex is ok, sometimes even great, its still nothing at all compared to the other guy. I think about him all the time. I miss him so much and actually have dreams about him. Not sexual dreams all the time but just seeing him again dreams. I dont know what to do... how could i be in love with someone other than my husband?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you rushed to get married and that things weren't ideal even when you said your vows. For you to "fall" for your guy friend so quick and easily shows that you didn't love her husband as much as you shouldn't have or that bond couldn't be broken by someone you see constantly.

    Also your "best friend" is a phony. To use the poor timing of your issues to state is "love" which could have been long ago shows what kind of person he is.

    I think you shouldn't make this decision yourself. You should put it all on the table and tell your husband you had an affair and then see how he wants to proceed.

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What Guys Said 4

  • naive, yes that was the word I was looking for.

    I'll take naive for 500 to answer your last question.

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  • Look at what caused you and your husband to get together. Is it something that you do not get from him that caused you to have the affair? Sometimes, having a healthy emotional non physical relationships outside marriage helps to see things clearly as it brings a certain spark back into you. This is based on personal experience.

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  • You should not have gone to your boyfriend in the first place. It was a mistake. Now you have to digest your mistakes somehow. Only you should know whether divorce is right or the other way.

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  • Love? I don't know. I'd say you liked that rush of being a naughty girl. lol Love is family.

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