I cheated, we broke up, I hate myself.

I cheated ( made out with another guy, while drunk at the bar) on my Boyfriend of a year. I completely regret it, and feel like the worlds biggest piece of sh*t. I love him dearly, and it was the stupidest mistake of my life, I don't know what I was thinking. I would do anything to take it back if I could.

Anyways he broke up with me, and I broke his heart. And I'm the fault for it I know, I completely hate myself for it.

But where do I go from here?

I am not interested in the guy I cheated with, I refuse to talk to him anymore, and I wish I could fix things with my now ex. But I don't think that will happen.

Does anyone have some advice for how I can get over everything that happened, and do what is best for my now ex? I only want the best for him, and care for and love him very much.

Thanks


0|0
514

Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends on the guy.

    But if you want him so much . I think you should do the following .

    write him a long letter ...serious one. Expressing your regret. Make him understand that you were drunk... and that no other guy in the world compare to him in any way shape or form. Tell him that your cheating is year fault and it isn't due to any negligence from his side or shortage . That you were incapacitated and that you are seriously changing year drinking habits. Because o fthis.

    Tell him that you are taking time off relationships to review year self and year actions. and that you hope one day he will forgive y you.

    Give it time , depends on the guy... it could be from couple of weeks to six months. Make him know that you are not seeing anybody during this time and change year way of living a little. Like focus more on hobbies and sports than on partying etc...

    with all of the above , if he doesn't get a feeling you are serious , then he is one of the guys that just can't take these things. People are different in personalities. some people can take it and move on and some cant.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks, I took your advice and spoke to him about what happened, and apologized, was completely honest about what happened.. And I do plan to change my ways since I hurt someone so important to me. All I can do now is give him time. But is it the right thing? Or should I just let him go, and convince him to let me go?

    • You should do the right thing for YOU! You are not responsible for other people's lives. The right thing for you doesn't mean that you think you are worthless and that he deserves better. If you are sincere in changing then whom of us doesn't make mistakes? Just because he is hurting so much doesn't mean that all is because of you. Some people are just more sensitive than others. Do YOU sincerely want him or do YOU want to move on? If YOU want him then persue him .

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • Well, I am guessing you have already said sorry.

    I did pretty much the exact same thing once. Once was all it took. Sadly the price of wisdom is often pain.

    Funny how easy something like this makes giving up alcohol.

    I got real honest. I wrote her a letter.

    It was quite a bit longer than this, but here are the basics.

    I screwed up and lost everything that mattered to me. I hurt the one person I cared for more than myself. I have never done anything like this before, and just the memory of what I did to you I know it will never happen again.

    I have no excuse, and I don't blame you if you never come back, but I am asking for a second chance. Please give it some time before you decide.

    I don't know how to stop my heart from loving you, and I can only hope you will give me a chance to win yours back.

    Beyond that, the only thing you can do is give him space and wait. It's up to him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If he doesn't want to be with you anymore, you must accept that. Trying to make things up NOW isn't going to help your case, so just tell him you're really sorry and that you still love him and want to be with him, but then give him some space. The best you can hope for is that, after a while, he may forgive you and give you another chance. Right now he's still mad at you for what you did, so just find something to distract you and go about with your regular life.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for your honestly, I appreciate it. I have apologized countless times, even tho it won't fix it, I felt I owed him an apology. I'm trying to get on with life, but I'm just dead inside from my actions.

  • You made the #1 mistake and now you've got to deal with it. It's sounds harsh, but that's what I think of this. You've hurt him, broke his hearth and stampede his feelings. Above all, give him TIME! Don't force anything now. Tell him, you want to talk this over, but let him choose the right moment. Maybe he will forgive you, maybe he won't - only time will tell.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I honestly don't think or expect things to work out for us. I have hurt him too much, and I hate myself for it. I just don't know what to do with myself. I don't see a point to life now..

  • Honestly ur best bet is to just leave him alone. he needs time to vent. trying to push yourself on him could possibly just aggrevate the situation. Honestly you made a mistake and the type of mistake that is not easily forgotton. But from what it seems it seems like you already know where you stand as far as that. I don't know maybe in a few months you can try talking to him again stressing to him the severity of your actions and show remorse. Maybe he'll take you back..

    0|0
    0|0
  • My girlfriend cheated on me a while ago and I dumped her too. After a while I realized that everyone deserves a second chance and I knew she regretted it. So I would try to give it a little time and then tell him how you feel. but don't do it right after the act of cheating, or he's gonna just ignore it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think the best thing you can do is move on.

    I completely side with the guy in this situation, I would do exactly the same.

    You don't deserve his love and affection if your going to get pist and kiss other men. If sure a lot of girls would do the same if their guy did this.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just forgive yourself for making a mistake. Remember the feeling and vow never to do something like that in future relationships. If you have a problem keeping your hands off others while you drink, don't drink around other people except him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • thats why I don't drink,

    just start over, go hunting !

    0|0
    0|0
  • You were drunk and all you did was make out with the guy. I don't see how you cheated on your boyfriend.

    0|0
    0|0
  • being drunk doesn't make you do things first off. just learn from your mistakes and try and be a better person when your in that situation again.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Experience is a good teacher, not a kind one.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe wait give him time, to get over it maybe see some other girls and if he still likes you he might get back together with you. Although he might use it as a free card and start seeing other girls. Or he might just move on and find someone else and forget about you. Guys are less likely to forgive.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You could try groveling.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • You have just learned a valuable lesson. If you truly loved your guy, you would

    have never acted like you did and disrespected him and your relationship like that. He will never trust you again - and if he did that to YOU... how would YOU like it? I would say stay out of relationships and just date these guys until you can commit/honor the guy you are with. Let this ex go... damage is done - issue an apology if you need to - but you don't act like you care or love him very much. Your behavior proved that. Sorry to be so hard on you - but if it walks like a duck...? Don't make that mistake again. Learn from this and know that once trust is broken... it is almost impossible to get it back. He deserved better, Sweetie - and you KNOW that. Don't blame the guy you cheated with... You were no better. He didn't hold a gun to your head to make you cheat so put the blame where blame is due.. With YOU. The first step to maturity is accountability - step up - act like a woman - and not a little girl. Guys will respect you more. Say.. " I screwed up. I'm sorry, and I will never let it happen again."

    PERIOD. Move on - Make better decisions for yourself. I'm sure you're a nice girl -- act like one. Good luck!

    0|0
    0|0
    • I understand what you're saying.. I know I've done the damage and it is all my fault. I completely accept the responsibility. I don't plan to have any excuse for my actions, they were just wrong. The issue I have now is that he is still talking to me, still talking of getting back together, when he accepts and gets over what I did. I don't know whether to just tell him to get over me, or to accompany his words and try to work things out with him. I don't want him to hurt. What is best for him?

    • I think you have to understand that this isn't easy for him either. were there problems in the relationship. his mind is telling him no but his body and heart are telling him yes. guys usually follow there mind eventually.

  • There is always a chance he will take you back. A girl I know did this exact same thing except it was her ex that she made out with. They are still together. Mind you it is a really sh*tty relationship since he controls her every move now. She f***ed up and since she did that he feels that he can do whatever he wants and she can do nothing. She listens to him too.

    0|0
    0|0
  • need time. need to leave your ex boyfriend alone for a while.

    i've been cheated on by 2 guys I've dated. I never talked to them again.

    sometimes if you love someone, you got to let them go. or at least let him have his space.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its good that you admit your wrong. Your ex might take you back or he might not. No one here will ever know. Just don't talk to him for a couple weeks and just take care of yourself. If you don't hear anything from him after a couple of week, its best to just move on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you only made out with the guy while under the influence I don't see why he wouldn't give you another chance. If you slept with that other guy than I could see why he'd be really furious. Then again being at a bar by yourself is kind of irresponsible. I'd try to stay in contact with him unless he's putting up a wall than maybe you should give him space.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;