How can I just believe him & be happy?

Well for starters, This is my first REAL relationship...We've been together for well over a year now(living together for one year and one month).

He used to date my best friend, but cheated on her with me 3 years ago((more like a 3 month affair))...(at that point they had been together for 3 years)...

AND him and I had already been REALLY good friends... well they tried to stay together for about a year or so, & him and I hadn't talked for the whole year... then he moved out and in with an ex (from freshmen year)... but THEN he started confiding in me from his girl dramas, and ended up cheating on yet another girlfriend with me.



well, After the month of being with her/living with her... AND cheating on her... He asked me out... I said yea...

And this is where we are today more than a year later. . .

At first I was so happy I finally had him, all to myself(I think)...

I've been in love with him since the first girlfriend he cheated on... with me.

But now ALL I can think about now, is how "what if one day he cheats on me?"... he's had a lot of girlfriends, and a few f***s that weren't. He is 4 years older than me, so I'm hoping he's actually matured and smarter than in the past...

We're usually Always together... but the days were not I can't help but think, he's hanging out with one of the ex's...

On top of that, he still has some stupid grad ring he was supposed to give to the one bitch(he lived with for a month... )

He tells me he loves me more than he's loved any of "them"... and that I'm the "most beautiful girl he's ever dated"... That to me is COMPLETE BULL SHIT... I know what I look like, & I know what all of them look like... so yeah. I feel like I'm tearing us up and apart, by being sad and pretending to believe him... cause he knows I don't.

This situation is in the process of killing me...
How can I just believe him & be happy?
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