What was the longest time it took you to get over someone /your hardest breakup also advice?

I had a breakup 2 months ago. She was my first love. We still loved each other when we broke up but it was because of cirumstances. She was raised very religiously and has problems with intimacy and there were also some other things she had to work through. We didn't talk for a month. Most of the time I was kinda ok but there were a few times when I really missed her a lot and it hurt.

Also beeing with her had a positive effect on my life. I have adhd and I struggle with some things like procrastination, order, organisation etc. When I was with her just because she cared about me and was interested how I was doing and we talked about what was going on in my life sometimes etc. And she gave me advice sometimes.
I was generally more motivated and positive and productive etc.

After we broke up that kinda fell away and I fell back into bad behaviours and was lazy and stuff so it really sucks. I had a friend who told me not to talk to her for a while and kinda supported me. After a month the friend told me it would be fine to talk to her again and I did. We still get along well and I'm glad that she's in my life, even as a friend she has a positive effect I think. She still cares about me but we still can't be together. I tried tinder for a short time just as a experiment in that time when we weren't talking but when I talked to her again I didn't feel like I could talk to someone else when I still had feelings. I just felt awkward and I couldn't do tinder anymore so I stopped.

So this situation is really kinda weird and I don't really know what I'm doing :P I know this is probably not very smart but at the same time never talking to her really sucked and it wasn't getting any better over time so I felt like this was preferable at least for now. But I also don't wanna get stuck in limbo for a long time.

You can give me advice or just talk about your own hardest breakup both is fine :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in a relationship and married for 6 years... it took me 7 years to get over him. But now ten years after my divorced I'm way over him. Don't miss him or think about him like before


Most Helpful Guy

  • U never forget ur first love
    try to live the reality
    think practically cause girls do the same. I go through same situation. took me 1 year to get over with it.
    don't be fool like me.
    avoid contacting her
    it will refresh ur pain
    be a man get over best luck for future


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What Girls Said 1

  • Sorry but my first love hurt me so bad that I forgot him in less than 24hrs

    • Really? :0 Wow. Yeah I thought about this in the time after we broke up that maybe it would be easier if I hated her or something but I don't know what happened to you so I won't say that. But because she's so nice and I was always nice to her too emotionally there was never really a clear break there and that kinda makes it hard to just end it. I don't know I feel like I'm behaving stupidly sometimes but at the same time I can't really help it lol. I hope you got over what he did to you :3

What Guys Said 1

  • I had eighteen months of hormonal imbalance constantly, but she died. and I'm still not over it four years later.


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