I NEED SOME HELP PLEASE IS ANYONE THERE?

Question

I NEED SOME HELP PLEASE IS ANYONE THERE?

Apple1999

Xper 1

so I'm having a bad time each day with this why would she just up and go and get on with her day and not make any contact, after 3 years she knows im just sat here waiting for anything and im really strullging now for love... what can i do for contact she responds to nothing?

so i dated this wonderful girl for 3 years i took her everywhere with me overseas really looked after her treated her kind loved her told her i loved her all the normal good things. Then she cheated on me out the blue while working at sea in america to which she confessed to some 6 months later i was upset shocked but thought i could forgive her giving the realtionship time and investment plus if you love a person you work on things right? anyhow long storey short its been terrbile for months she dropped me in feb and I've begged pleaded for 3 months now. She came home from sea in April and we kind of made things up spending a little time with each other and she slept over etc etc. But now she's gone all cold and horrid again for at least 8 days now she lets me text at least 10 times a day but never responds to anything then sends me this last night :

\HOW F;;;;;; DARE YOU!!! You f;;;;;; insensitive prick!!! Get the f;;;; out of my life and stay out of it!!! You are not important to me in what is happening right now FUCK OFF!

i send her nothing but love and the only contact i get get know is via e mails which i dont get a reply from them im so confussed i wake up to a room filled with our things, her pictures over my bed what am i doing? its been 8 days no contact at all and she's 140 miles away at work mon to fri that plenty of space, given i jiust waited for her return from sea for 5 months please what can i do please please please :(

3

2

Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

notaguy1999
Xper 3

+1 y

Firstly, she's the one in the wrong. I know you said you put time and investment into this relationship but looking at how it has become, I think it's all run down the drain..
I wanted to point out that her cheating on you is wrong, you may be however miles away from each other, she still shouldn't have done it. And if she loved you enough, she would have told you straight away, not 6 months later. Just wanna say, this girl ain't worth, and she's got you wrapped around her finger, leading you on. So I would suggest, no more hurting and stress from being in a LDR.. And just break up with her. There will be other people out there, but you just gotta do what's best for YOU. Not her. YOU

0|0

0|0
Is this still revelant?
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  Thank you... yes most people would not talk a cheater back and i shouldn't of i mean a mistake she said it was but i found out that the so called mistake happend 3 or 4 times so thts not a mistake hey thats a choice. its so hard for me because one persons choice for selfish acts has taken away everything i loved and adored i honestly never thought id be here with a 27 year old women thast acting like she's 16. i fully get everything and understand what i need to do :) but ill never understand why she's acting this way to me i mean im 35 is this what people do today when there done with a person? 3 years she didn't even make any attempt to work on anything just up left and took off 140 miles away for work related things
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  i mean this is the last message i had from her 8 days ago after my messages of love. she said
  
  HOW F DARE YOU!!! You f insensitive prick!!! Get the f out of my life and stay out of it!!! You are not important to me in what is happening right now !!! FUCK OFF!
- notaguy1999
  
  +1 y
  That's very immature for someone her age. 27? agreed, more like 16. But you need to distance yourself away from this childish behaviour. You don't have to deal with it!
- Show All Show Less
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  yes I agree and believe it or not she's training to be a officer on a ship i mean i thought she would be more mature this is really a side i never knew i mean i guess this is who she really is? like if she is done with a person then she just tosses them away like old paper.. i never thought a person could love you and then treat you like that, i mean that is not love could of it ever been?
- notaguy1999
  
  +1 y
  People move on easier than others. Maybe she's gone and left you behind cos she was only thinking of her self
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  right now she's busy having fun enjoying life but come July when its all finished and she's comes home i bet you she messages ill keep you updated but i bet she does, its like once there's nothing to do im the importent one i mean she spent 5 months at sea and when she comes home she finds it more importent to go meet up with freinds rarther then priotize me. like i know she has to see friends but when you waited 5 months and its been 2 days wtf is that all about i think i just becaome not importent to her hey and maybe the attn from the cheater who she also worked with on the ship pushed me away.
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  yes i t does feel that way to be honest because right know she's up north and for the past 2 years I've always gone with her and we rented a place and everything was good. but this year she's just took off and rented with friends its like it was all pre arranged under my eyes like?
- notaguy1999
  
  +1 y
  I think you should just distance yourself, break up with her... Never get back her, never let her get under your skin.. Because she'll just keep on breaking your heart. And moving on would be the best way to let go. wouldn't you rather prefer a new, healthy, loving relationship than this hurtful, horrible one?
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  yes id of liked this one to of been good as it was before she cheated thats when things changed
- notaguy1999
  
  +1 y
  Well, I hope you do break up with her because she is an immature cheat. You don't need the hassle in your life.
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  yes I'm upset and confused and still have her pictures over my bed but what can you do when your tossed aside and blocked and ignored not much hey.. let alone im nearly 40 so i have no idea how to respond only on a mature level i think maybe like you say she's immature and i didn't see it and she wants a fight and drama and i dont give that so who knows but its a crazy way to deal with something you invested in for 3 yers there's another storey to this you want to here it \?
- notaguy1999
  
  +1 y
  Yeah okay
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  well she cheated on me in the August last year and didn't tell me until jan this year via text but she came home from usa in late augest last year and let me put a promise ring on her finger knowing what she knew. fast forward to sept i went to visit her in spain while she was in dry dock and she cheated on me there right under my nose i only found out because the morning after she had sex with him he raped her and she reported it. so i guess she cheated twice on me im so shocked at myself for even wantingto love this women. she has been told she has ptsd and im wondering does all this beahviour pushing me away come from bad memories so its easy to get shut of me to eae her mind and is the ptsd playing. a part in all this?
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  and when she was at sea she keep on texting me saying how i deserve better and she was no good for me etc etc?
- notaguy1999
  
  +1 y
  The thing you do deserve better. I don't know what to say about the rape bit, it's a very sensitive subject. But if she's saying it, then that is saying something. You do though, it seems you both been through a lot, and she needs to let go of you as well and you need to let go of her. It's going to be hard, but that's what friends and family are for.
- notaguy1999
  
  +1 y
  I've looked at your profile and all your posts are about this ex of yours, let her go. You don't need her and her shit.

What Girls & Guys Said

21

RJGraveyTrain
Master

+1 y

You won't leave her alone, of course she's snapping at you. I don't agree with her approach but she's done and you obsessively won't let go. Respect yourself, be a man and and move on instead of chasing her like a sad little lost puppy. Doing this is likely killing all attraction she could have for you, it's making you look pathetic, and you could be bordering creepy by refusing to let her move on.

0|0

0|0
- RJGraveyTrain
  
  +1 y
  Also: her cheating on you is another reason why you need to respect yourself and stop chasing this girl like she's worth the time. She's not,
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  ok thank you so you think if i dissapear myself like she has she might make contact at some point? not that it would matter just in genreal
- RJGraveyTrain
  
  +1 y
  You don't want her to make contact. If she does, you shouldn't answer her. If you do answer her it should be to say: "You're not worth my time, bye."
  
  ... Seriously.
- Show All Show Less
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  ok
  thank you
hpt8592pro
Xper 2

+1 y

my dude just don't let urself down. you will find better one than that one if you truly want a better one. if you will miss her too much ur mind will never let u go off her feelings and memories. be a dick for couple weeks to beat this time. then u are old you.

0|0

0|0
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  thanks buddy... everyone here makes sense but another failed relationship drives me nuts when it wasn't my fault and i waited for her for months while she worked and enjoyed her time at sea in the usa so bascailly I've waited and held my life up for what should of been and when it was my turn to start living with her she drops me and blocks me
- hpt8592pro
  
  +1 y
  people block because they can not face you. it's their hiding from you.
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  aww i see like kinda she knows she's done wrong or in the wrong or has something to hide?
- Show All Show Less
- hpt8592pro
  
  +1 y
  there is a science behind blocking. not to face them after dick move, not to face them if you have already decided to move on, if you left them anyway, if there is no chance from your aspect so lets block.
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  ok thanks
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  she's become somwhat shadey i think anyway i noticed she joined kik thats never a good sign hey
- hpt8592pro
  
  +1 y
  Kik a shite.
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  yes but I mean the only time anyone usually gets kit is for when there up to no good right pictures etc etc you know what i mean
- hpt8592pro
  
  +1 y
  agreed
Anonymous

+1 y

You're borderline stalking her. She's done with you. She's not interested.

0|0

0|0
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  yes thats what I'm afraid of because thats what will come next hey
- Opinion Owner
  
  +1 y
  No dude. That is what is coming now. Stop being a creep. Lose her number.
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  oh I don't thin your comment is that needed to be honest a creep? is that the best choice of words you know she cheated on me i forgive her and took her back and she takes off and your calling me the creep?
- Show All Show Less
- Opinion Owner
  
  +1 y
  I'm not saying her behavior wasn't fucked, but it's creepy to keep sending lovesick texts to a woman who has clearly rejected you. And I'm not talking to her about her part in this. I'm talking to you.
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  ok then thank you I apologies... hard to understand how a women would just do this though but thank you
- Apple1999
  
  +1 y
  would it be wrong to drive 140 miles without her permission and see if i can. get her to talk? that would be wrong on lots of levels right and could land me in trouble and may make things worse? i mean that would be stupid right?
- Opinion Owner
  
  +1 y
  Leave her alone. She already told you. That would be a creep move.
- hpt8592pro
  
  +1 y
  don't think about this whole case buddy otherwise you will stuck to this state of mind while she will be sleeping somewhere else and moaning. so better you let it go. it doesn't make difference either way.

Related myTakes

Show All

Valuable Women vs Women With Value

Things Women Constantly Say That We Should Stop Believing Once And For All

Here's Why Slut Shaming Is Stupid!

Who's At Fault For Biologically Reversed Gender Roles In Our Time: Men or Women

BasicFlake Yoda · Accepted Answer

You can't make someone want you, unfortunately. Bombarding her with contact to which she isn't even replying will only make her angry and it will make her like you less and less. You have to give her space, it's your only option. Clinging on to someone by your fingernails does not guarantee that you won't lose them, it is just as likely to result in your fingernails being torn out. If someone wants to be with you it shouldn't be this hard to keep them.

The amount of pain that you feel is understandable but it is not a bargaining chip. Break ups hurt, it's inevitable. The still happen and they are still allowed to happen. She has the right to choice, as do you. Your pain is yours to deal with and you need to start dealing with it. It will take time, it will take focus, but you can get past it. Don't be looking to her to ease your pain. Once she chooses to not be with you anymore then it's not her responsibility and you can have no expectations of her.

I NEED SOME HELP PLEASE IS ANYONE THERE?

Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

Related Questions

What Girls & Guys Said

Related myTakes

Select as Most Helpful Opinion?