Did I make a mistake by sending this text to my ex? I don't know what to do anymore😢 I love him so much, my heart is completely broken?

He had told me that I could be a part of his life in the future after months of me trying to fix it and beg him. I just got so frustrated and I sent him this, now I don't know what to do. I didn't want to sound mean or be rude cause that's not who I am.

What am I supposed to do, just wait around for you until you feel right to welcome me back into your life? When you're having fun, living your life and forget all about me whilst I'm miserable and hurt. That's fucked up. You caused utter devastation, you broke up with me and hurt me multiple times and I'm the one STILL chasing you after two months and attempting to fix it.. uhhh what normal girl would do that? One that truly cares. Cause I'm pretty sure you'd have been told to fuck off by another two months ago, that's a long time. I am not here to cause you stress or cause shit in your life or to fight with you, I have been direct, calm and honest with you yet you don't see it. I've realised my own mistakes and changed my ways, I became more mature and stronger, I made upmost effort, constantly tried to save our friendship/relationship, I understood your point of view and respected that, each time you responded it's been cold, harsh and disrespectful but I never once reacted and said anything bad to you, I gave you so many chances. What else do you want.. Don't you think you stress me out when I have explained my feelings to you a billion times and you still don't care. I'm here because I still want to be in each other's lives, I don't want to lose what we had, I wanted to make things okay because you're really important to me. Normal people don't go around destroying other human beings. You need to realise that your actions affect someone, be careful of what you say and do. It's not always just about you. I have ALWAYS stuck by you, I didn't give up no matter how much you've hurt me, everytime when you picked someone else over me and walked all over my heart.
Updates:
+1 y
I did not let any of that come between, i saw you for good despite the bad, the one I knew existed, the one I fell in love with. I learned to fight for what was important to you and for people you loved. I thought I was important to you but I never was. Once I realised that I picked myself up and got on with it, everyday since I have worked on improving myself and becoming a better person. I've come so far. I realised a lot, learned new things and was able to make those changes.
+1 y
I'm a good person and nobody deserves to be treated that way. You keep playing mind games. I am not waiting for you anymore, I have waited long enough. You don't understand the damage you have caused, once people leave it's not the same again. This is as honest as I can be with you. If you want to be a part of my life it's soon or never. What you choose to do is on you.
Did I make a mistake by sending this text to my ex? I don't know what to do anymore😢 I love him so much, my heart is completely broken?
5
2
Add Opinion