Ex bought me a plane ticket to visit, don't know how to act.?

This might be long, but I desperately need any advice you can offer.

BACKGROUND: My ex and I have been broken up for about 2ish months officially. We were together for almost 2 years, mostly long distance because he's in the military. We broke up because the distance was getting too much to handle, and my solution what that I move there, but he ultimately didn't want me to for reasons that I'm still trying to truly figure out. (input on that matter would be appreciated!)

So we decided to stay friends and keep in contact, because we know each other better than anyone, and we have so much in common.

I should add that he still acts like a jealous boyfriend when it comes to certain things (like me hanging out with new guys), and talks about "if we get together again/get married someday"

I know he's met other girls, and a couple have "more than friends" feelings towards him, he tells me this, but I shrug it off and don't overreact, even though clearly it bothers the hell out of me, especially because they're so attractive.

At times, he plays the pity card and says things like "he can't give me what I want" and says I'm "just looking for someone better than him now" (I deny those statements)

BOTTOM LINE: I still want to be with him at this point in time, but it seems like he just won't let it be.

CURRENT SITUATION: So he bought me a plane ticket to go visit him soon. The trip will last less than a week. But I don't know what to expect or how to act.

A: Part of me feels like I should act like the girlfriend I would be if I lived there with him, so he can see how great it would be for us, and how much fun we could have, and make him feel like it's not "such a big/serious deal", ultimately keeping me holding on to the possibility that we will pull our relationship out of this rut.

B: The other part of me wants to act nonchalant, just like a visiting friend, nothing more, with no sex, no expectations, and maybe some innocent flirting with others when we go out, and encouraging him to do the same. This may help me realize that moving on is possible, and I'll survive.

what would you do? or what do you think about the situation overall. I don't get many responses on my questions, but I'm hoping you will give some input, because I desperately need advice on this one. Thanks so much.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I suggest you go there, enjoy your trip, and keep your mind open to the possibilities. If anything romantic or sexual happens and it feels right, go with it. If it feels wrong, establish boundaries for the friendship.

  • Go there meet him, forget negative things about your relationship act like girlfriend, enjoy with him I hope this tour will make strong your relationship Good Luck.


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