How to know if it is time to break up?



I have been with a guy for a year, and I do love him. But I'm starting to wonder if I should stay or break up. It will really hurt and I feel like I don't want to, but then on the other hand I feel like I do, it keeps niggling at me in the back of my mind. What do you think I should do?

Reasons to end it:
We live several hours apart with no end in sight to this situation.
I feel like he wants more space than I do.
I don't feel loved or missed when apart.
We don't see each other often. Only once every few weeks... sometimes 1x a month.
We don't have in depth conversations often.
I feel like he isn't that interested in what I'm doing.
We fight all the time over small things and it turns ugly fast.
We don't go out and do things together like dates etc, more just chilling. And it seems like I'm the only one who minds this, as I've brought it up before but he still only really wants to chill and watch tv or walk around the mall.
He doesn't seem to share my love for travel and going places.
He is a bit foolish with money, has lots of things he is paying off, and wants to build his next home with crazy expensive ideas in mind for stuff like big garage for his 3 cars he will buy, but I want to buy something second hand that I could actually afford and look after my financial future... maybe have a family.

Reasons to stay:
I love him.
I can imagine a future with him.
we've been together for over a year and both want a future.
I'm happy most of the time when we are together.
We have fun together.
Share the same sense of humour, similar moral values.
We both don't really drink and both introverted.
The sex is amazing.
We cuddle often when together.
When together I feel loved.
He does try to be a good boyfriend.

Updates:
I broke up with him... he pretty much said two words and that is all. I guess he wasn't too keen anymore either then.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i say break up. the problems in the first list will only get bigger woth time and cause more problems while diminishimg the things in your second list

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    • sorry you broke up. its never pleasant but you can find someone who is into you now

Most Helpful Girl

  • if you're not happy and can't solve any problem together and it's time to break up

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • Before I read the update, I had a sense that you were heading towards a break up. It is so difficult to work on problems in a LDR.

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  • Good that your broke up with him. I think you'll find it someday it was a good decision. Definitely not now but in the future. You'll find someone else!

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  • You're a bit confusing.. you saying he sex is amazing.. you guys cuff.. hoe Can it be possible if you guys are living distant?

    Another point.. I don't think you should continue being in a virtual relationship.. try contacting him.. of course everyone needs space.. but that space should not be that wide.. that any other person could fill it

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    • See.. I told ya. m no need to be in the relationship anymore.. not at least for a good amount of time.. enjoy the single hood.. it's never bad.. make sure you love for yourself.. no worries.. no phone call waiting.. no text messages.. just free as a bird.. imagine the touch of air!!

  • I think that you guys are just going through life and that is stressful. if you really do love him, stay with him. You know best.

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  • You contradicting yourself. First you said you don't feel loved, then towards the end you said you feel "Loved"

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  • I think that as an introvert you just like physically being with him. Your pros don't outweigh the cons in my opinion

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  • Then if you do have much fillings time to break up

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  • i think you want to end it. so do it.

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  • soon as you think of the question.

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  • 1. Are you putting in more effort into trying make the relationship work?

    2. Does he not care about your feelings anymore in general?

    3. Did you try your best to make him understand, and gave him a chance to change?

    If you said yes then move on. Don't let the sex blind you. I don't know about you, but I respect myself and love myself to much to settle for less or be treated like less. Some of you females are so loyal, you would lose 2 arms and a leg and still try to make it work. Don't take yourself through that pain if your not married, you will find a better man I promise you. You might have to be patient but you'll find better.

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  • please stick with him. the reasons you told above are not enough to break up with him. try to ignite the flame of love with him. I guess I don't want to explain that to you. help him to complete his goals. i guess he's doing this for you to. enjoy your life.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I can't say for anyone, but for me, just having the mere thought of leaving shows that your gut feeling is trying to tell you something and maybe it really is time to leave.
    Just my 2 cents.

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  • Break up.

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