Having a hard time breaking things off, please help?

My boyfriend has been living with me nearly a year. Things were ok at first, but it went downhill fast. I have stuck it out but all I keep hearing is how I stress him out, don't give him peace, refuse to change etc. you can't tell him how to talk, but then if I talk a certain way then I have an attitude. He tells me I refuse to accept responsibility for my actions, but then it's ok for him to act the way he does. Oh, but when he does it it's just him being direct and people can't handle it. He is not affectionate or loving toward me. But then when I try to talk to him he says it in a very arrogant way saying to ask myself why he might be acting this way. Then tells me that he can't be the only one changing. He just finds fault in everything, and he calls me negative, overly sensitive and defensive.

I tried to break up before and he basically told me by law, I have to give him 30-days and I will need to give him a chance to save up his money for a room. So basically he wouldn't be paying me nothing for a month. Then when I told him I would change locks he told me I can't hold his things and he will call the cops if I do that.

What should I do with this guy? He says we will talk about it tomorrow but it's always the same story of him telling me what I'm doing that is making him unhappy, how I'm stressing him out and making his health condition worse and how this relationship can't be one way and how he explained this to me from day 1...


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What Guys Said 2

  • If he's on the lease then its tricky. If not then you can remove him at will, call non emergency police after asking him to pack up and leave (with reasonable time to do so, like a week can't be argued as unreasonable.) They will handle it beyond that.
    Regardless the rest of it, doesn't sound like a healthy... much less happy relationship at all. Get out, there may be legit reasons as why he says some things but they are irrelevant for the moment. Get out and self examine further, everything will be better

  • Well you need to assert yourself and state what your needs are. If you have decided there is no way to repair and go forward in this relationship and from your description it sounds like your nearly at that point now, I would say take all appropriate action. Depending on the lease you can get an eviction notice for him. If your lease is month to month and you want to leave, then find other accommodations. If you feel unsafe there is always a temporary restraining order. If it gets too bad stay at friends homes during the eviction period. worst case scenario turn on your charms, give him a big hug and kiss, hand him $20 and ask him to get something at the store will slipping an misdemeanor amount of something in his pocket. Then call the cops and say he was near the highschool acting suspicious. I'm just kidding about the last part. It just sounded like you needed a laugh. I hope some of this helps.

    • I never added him to my lease. He has no rights to my apartment. He says if he lived with me more than 30-days then I have to give him 30-days notice. I looked into it, and if he's contributing toward the rent then I do have to give him notice. If he wasn't then it's 10 days. My issue is he wants 30 days free of charge. Not happening. He can find a friend to stay with for all I care.

    • What state do you live in?

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