My boyfriend doesn't clean his room. Ever. Its disgusting, i had to nag him for two weeks before hed wipe his windowsill down after i saw mould growing on it! Mould!
He keeps saying his room is a representation of his mind, cluttered and disorganised.
I say its a bad representation of him. Lazy, dirty and unambitious.
He still has the "study bunk" he and his siblings all had as kids because if he didn't he wouldn't be able to fit a bed in amongst all his shit. He has two desks because his first one got completely covered in shit. You literally can't see the floor.
No seriously. Im not saying that in the way parents say it when you drop a single shirt on the floor. You CANNOT see his floor.
He owns more books then he could ever read.
He complains of having no money then happily spends what he does have on more shit to fill his room.
And he doesn't seem to have any motivation. He spends all his time on the computer on youtube or making videos FOR youtube, or just playing games.
He works at a Salvos which is fine but its not paid work so its not getting him anywhere. So now he's not even looking for a job because he thinks unpaid work that he has to take the bus to get to (thus wasting money everyday) is good enough!
I dont know what to do. I dont want to be in a relationship where im supporting my partner just cause he's not taking any steps to do so himself, but...
I dont know what to do.
I feel like its a petty reason to break up.
What do you guys think would you break up with this?
Most Helpful Guy
Most Helpful Girl
Is this an intelligence test?
Or, have you already decided to break up with the boy, and you're just looking for confirmation here?
Because... y'know, you aren't exactly making this one hard for us. 😂
I mean. Not only didn't you mention a *single* redeeming quality of this boy, but... you said (in one of the comments) that you basically don't even have a physical relationship. Like... what? Gurlfrennnnn
So... Help us out here. What are some possible reasons NOT to end this relationship-that-kinda-doesn't-deserve-to-be-called-a-relationship-anyway?
By the way --
I've written this before, but, breaking up over different standards of cleanliness is NOT petty.
In fact, that kind of difference is such a big deal that it is GUARANTEED to destroy a relationship/marriage.
What I mean is -- if one person is MUCH more of a "neat freak" than the other, then, EVEN IF THEY ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER IN EVERY OTHER IMAGINABLE WAY, THAT RELATIONSHIP WILL **STILL** BREAK DOWN in the long run.
Because, in that situation, the only thing that makes logical sense is for the neater person to do MOST of the cleaning, ALL of the time (once they live together). Obviously it would be unfair -- not to mention spoiled rotten -- to expect the messier person to exert the SAME amount of time and effort, to meet a standard that brings her/him absolutely no satisfaction at all (and may even *bother* her/him, if it's TOO neat).
I mean, this is just simple common sense. [In the same way, if you're gna be super picky about yr food (whether for health/performance reasons or just because you're weird), then, you better be willing to cook yr own food.]
But -- for reasons I'll never understand -- super neat people ALWAYS expect an equivalent effort from their partners, and ALWAYS feel intense resentment at doing a majority of the cleaning **even though that's the only resolution that makes any sense**. This WILL happen. And it WILL poison the rl.
I mean, look. Except for my nice clothes, I'm a slob. I HATE excessively tidy environments. I can't even concentrate mentally if my surroundings are too neat.
I have a girlfriend whose house I don't even go to, because it's so perfectly spotless -- like a builder's model home -- that I feel like I'm going to accidentally ruin it. (They have pristine WHITE carpets, for gawd's sake.) And I am definitely not lazy, or dirty, or unambitious.
But, mold? Yeah fuck that. It should NEVER reach a point of threatening yr health.0
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