I know I shouldn't be thinking like this. I can normally give good advice but my heart and mind is cloudy at the moment. I have been with my ex for only 4 months. I have been his longest relationship, and he is practically my 2nd relationship (both being 4months, can't seem to break that mark). But iv been in love 3 times. When I first met him, he was going through a tough time about his love life. Then he tells me later on "I" finally got him out of it and he knew I was the one.2 months later he tells me he loves me. I asked him to never say that unless he REALLY truly means and he said yes he did. 2 months later from that, he breaks up with me! Apparently 2 nights prior I did seem very withdrawn and I got angry over something... but then I told him I was very sorry and that it wasn't me cause I just started birth control, so moods were going haywire. Then the day comes and we talked... and I asked him WHY he was doing this. And he said 75% of the time he was sure about me... the other 25% he was always confused and questionable. First he said it was my weight and he tried to look past it. Then its because we are not on the same page all the time... but the reason I would be like that because HE wouldn't be so sure. Then he said maybe the distance cause he is 15 miles away. But Ill be moving soon and ill only be 5 miles away! Then he kept saying I wouldn't want someone who's not always sure about us... and that when I get sad, it hurts HIM.
He told me a week ago that he truly loved me, that he wanted to see me in his life in 5 years, and he bought me a bracelet for my birthday and wanted to be very special. I mean I thought we were good... didn't think he would do this at all! I love him so much and I know time will heal... but we are still friends. He still talks to me, but he's more enthusiastic when we talk now.. and sometimes his answers are shorter. Its giving me confused signals. I don't believe now that he had unconditional love for me... just love cause he gave up so quickly! Said he didn't love me anymore... but he paused for a while when he said that. Because we might have rushed things, do you think just by being friends he could come back? Or do you think it really is a weight issue?
Most Helpful Guy
I wish I could reach through this monitor and give your head a shake. None of this is your fault, least of all your weight.
All of this is on HIM. You have been his longest relationship at 4 months? That is a huge red flag that this guy is not looking for a commitment and has absolutely no idea what he wants right now.
The result is you're allowing him to jerk you around and come and go as he pleases.
Will he come back? Yeah, I guarantee he will come back. I also guarantee he will leave again too and you'll be even more hurt than now.
My advice to you is focus your attention on a different guy.3