Do you think he will come back?

I know I shouldn't be thinking like this. I can normally give good advice but my heart and mind is cloudy at the moment. I have been with my ex for only 4 months. I have been his longest relationship, and he is practically my 2nd relationship (both being 4months, can't seem to break that mark). But iv been in love 3 times. When I first met him, he was going through a tough time about his love life. Then he tells me later on "I" finally got him out of it and he knew I was the one.2 months later he tells me he loves me. I asked him to never say that unless he REALLY truly means and he said yes he did. 2 months later from that, he breaks up with me! Apparently 2 nights prior I did seem very withdrawn and I got angry over something... but then I told him I was very sorry and that it wasn't me cause I just started birth control, so moods were going haywire. Then the day comes and we talked... and I asked him WHY he was doing this. And he said 75% of the time he was sure about me... the other 25% he was always confused and questionable. First he said it was my weight and he tried to look past it. Then its because we are not on the same page all the time... but the reason I would be like that because HE wouldn't be so sure. Then he said maybe the distance cause he is 15 miles away. But Ill be moving soon and ill only be 5 miles away! Then he kept saying I wouldn't want someone who's not always sure about us... and that when I get sad, it hurts HIM.

He told me a week ago that he truly loved me, that he wanted to see me in his life in 5 years, and he bought me a bracelet for my birthday and wanted to be very special. I mean I thought we were good... didn't think he would do this at all! I love him so much and I know time will heal... but we are still friends. He still talks to me, but he's more enthusiastic when we talk now.. and sometimes his answers are shorter. Its giving me confused signals. I don't believe now that he had unconditional love for me... just love cause he gave up so quickly! Said he didn't love me anymore... but he paused for a while when he said that. Because we might have rushed things, do you think just by being friends he could come back? Or do you think it really is a weight issue?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I wish I could reach through this monitor and give your head a shake. None of this is your fault, least of all your weight.

    All of this is on HIM. You have been his longest relationship at 4 months? That is a huge red flag that this guy is not looking for a commitment and has absolutely no idea what he wants right now.

    The result is you're allowing him to jerk you around and come and go as he pleases.

    Will he come back? Yeah, I guarantee he will come back. I also guarantee he will leave again too and you'll be even more hurt than now.

    My advice to you is focus your attention on a different guy.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • He's a total commitmentphobe. They rush in fast, everything seems like a whirlwind, and then they suddenly end it without any reasonable logic.

    I know it's rough on you emotionally and it'll take time, but ditch the idea of him. He'll come crawling back, but will pull the same bs all over again. Don't give him the time of day.

  • First of all if he said 25% of the time he's not sure about you then he doesn't love you enough to trust you. If he can't look past your weight, he doesn't love you. It probably hurts more but I'm telling you the truth, for someone to do that then they didn't love you so much after all. I can't say if he'll come back or not, but if he does you really need to think long and hard about taking him back before agreeing. You may just be setting yourself up to be hurt again. And just so you don't get afraid of this happening all the time, keep your heart open to trusting people. If you really want to (and he comes back) then give him one more chance, but trust me after the third time it's over no matter what he says. Don't worry about your weight, and by being friends he may come back or he may not, and you may realize he didn't love you. Well, good luck with everything and even when it's a little clouded your heart is always true.


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