My ex and I broke up months ago, in that time I have made a lot of postitive changes in my life both physically and mentally. I realised my own mistakes, but I also learned new things and became more mature. I learned that I don't need someone to be happy so instead of begging I began defending myself. So my ex completely cut off contact with me when we broke up and things happened and we spoke and had a conversation which he ended by saying' I'll talk to you some other time' when we had a conversation and I kept thinking about how much he hurt me then a few weeks later I was tired of being played with so I sent him this massive text saying make a decision if you want to be a part of my life/friends and he said ' In the future not anytime soon, you stress me out and cause shit in my life'
I don't understand because what's the difference between soon or in the future? It just prolongs my suffering... so I stopped contacting him and now I want to initate it by saying hey can we talk but I'm afraid he may not answer after our last texts
Most Helpful Guy
yeah, you need to purge him completely. Before deciding if he is still good enough for you. Positive self improvement is never something that feels achieved unless the motivation was for the wrong reasons. Though wrong motivations or not, the fact you are working on yourself, is the key to the self-love that you need to fill the space he's left emotionally and be continually better off as time goes by. So leave him to be him and take your time to be you. And if nothing more happens between you down the track, the relationship would have still been a hugely positive landmark in your life.0
- Show AllShow Less
Most Helpful Girl
For me the easiest way for me to get over my ex was to get angry at him for what he did and to stop feeling sorry for him and like I own him anything. When two people break up, it's almost never completely one-sided. Even when someone cheats on the other person, the other person may have been neglectful or otherwise wrong in some way which led the person to cheat. So there are always 2 sides. Your ex and you both did things right and did things wrong. I do not think you should speak to him, because it's over and you don't owe him anything. I think you should just view him as a manipulator and jerk and move on. I tried to be friends with my ex bc he guilt tripped me so much and after I left him, for very good reasons, I felt sorry for him. And even as friends I felt sorry for him and almost got lured back to being with him. Then I finally got pissed and said that is it and I haven't talked to him in months now. He is negative energy in my life and pulls me back. And I feel like you need to wait for this guy to come to you, not the other way around.0