Why does it seem like she doesn't want to better our lives?

I have gotten a great job offer, but it's 12 hours away in another state. we have been married for 5 years and have 3 kids. This job will allow us to have a better quality of life. there is more to do in this new state, the schools are better, housing is cheaper... it's a no brainier. but she doesn't want to move... every reason she gives I have a solution or an answer for. I think she just doesn't want to leave her mom. plus our marriage has been kinda rocky lately, I don't know what's going on...


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  • In all honesty I'd find it hard to leave my mum too... were really close and she's a huge source of friendship and emotional support. She's getting older and I know she won't be around forever, and I'd want my children to have a close relationship with her.
    I'd like to think that if the same situation arose for us I'd be willing to make the sacrifice for the better of our family and go with it, but I know I would find it incredibly difficult. I know it seems selfish, and of course I can't predict exacts without being in it but I know that I'd struggle.
    Your wife may feel the same way, or she may have other reasons. If your marriage has been a little rocky she may feel apprehensive about moving so far with no support around her, there could be any number of things.
    Have you asked her about her feelings around being away from her mum?

    • yes I've asked her about her mom, but she always gives me some bs answer. and I even invited her mom to move with us but her mother doesn't want to come.

  • offer her to take her mom too


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