Did I deny him of a second date for the wrong reasons?

This is really long so if you stick through, thanks. I really appreciate it. This guy I met a few years ago recently messaged me on social media. We talked for like a week everyday all day and a few days in he asked me for a date and I said yes. Fast forward to the end of the week, we had our date. We went to lunch and a movie. It wasn't as awkward as I had imagined. Our conversation was good and a lot of our morals matched up. He kind of asked me if I wanted to do something else or bail if the date is going bad, and I said sure. So we decided to go to the movies. At the movies I started to get really awkward and I just felt uncomfortable. About half through the movie, we finally held hands. It was a little awkward but I didn't hate it, it was kind of sweet. Anyway after the movie we hugged and he said we'll do something again. And I kind of just nooded and smiled. I honestly thought he is a great guy and he seemed like total marriage material. he's so smart and has his shit together.. But, I didn't feel very sexually attracted to him. I mean I did, but I felt that I would never have sex with him. And I feel like a terrible, superficial person for feeling like that. So he later that same day texted me and asked if I wanted to go on second date but would understand if I didn't. So I rejected him in a polite way. And wished him well. The problem is that I now wish I didn't reject him and would've given him another chance to see it any attraction would build.. I just didn't feel right after leaving the date. Like not how I should feel after a date. Like my mind is telling me he's great and I won't find another guy like him but my emotions are saying you know it wouldn't work out because of the attraction. I also feel like I'm not good enough for him, I felt intimidated. Did I do the right thing? If I didn't, is there a way I could go back and unreject him? Or did I burn the bridge too bad? Or completely? I know this was very long, so thanks if you stuck through. yes


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Most Helpful Guy

  • you did the right thing, i mean obviously if you have date with him again and again you'll find him attractive at some point, but what if you won't

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it was a real good reason in the first place, but if for you is a legitimate concern, why don't you explain it? :) Trying again without some explanation woukd make him feel played/insecure. do I on clear basis

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    • Would you marry someone you couldn't see having sex with? I date with purpose of marrying and I plan on waiting

    • Honestly? I'm 18 and sex doesn't interest me most days and has me quite repulsed at the idea on others. It's something I plan on experiencing sooner or later, but even if i'll discover I like it, I don't think it'll ever hold that much importance for me.
      So yes, if I felt it was love and he was the right guy I would.
      But I understand I'm a particular case. I say, talk to him, tell him "I like you, but I'm not attracted to you at present. Can we give it some months, see if something sparks?"

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What Guys Said 2

  • don't go to him right away.. wait a little and tell him you thought it out and told would like a second chance

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  • Stop thinking with your vagina and ask him on a date!

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    • We just went on one and then I rejected him

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