Will he come back? I'm extremely stressed out please help?

Long story short. My 5 year relationship just ended a week and a half ago. He dumped me (for the second time) because I am lazy and would never help out with anything (the business, laundry, cleaning, etc) last year he broke up with me kicked me out said 6 months minimum and came back two weeks later but slept with a chick in between. I should have changed when I change the chance yes I know please don't berate me with that. I'm now trying to fix these things because this time he kicked me out said a minimum of a year but says he still in love with me deeply he just can't handle the stress. Come now I find out he is sleeping around already and it really fucking hurts to know that. I made the mistake of asking his best friend if I change will he come back he told me that at first my ex told him the minimum of a year but from how he is acting although hasn't said anything he feels like he just wants to be friends. Accept I don't want to be friends I want to be his girlfriend. I want to change and be a better person because I know that these changes have to happen or else it'll ruin any further relationships. I have to go pick up my stuff today from his house and I don't want to fall apart. You guys I really love and miss him. He told me I'd be perfect if I wasn't so lazy. I'm worried he may not come back around and I'm stuck in a state of panick all the time. Is there anything I can do or any advice you can give that isn't move on because I really really do love him and want to fix things I'm just not sure if or when I can have a chance to. Please please help me! I don't want to feel this way anymore I can't eat or sleep and I'm constantly stressed of wanting to cry.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he really loved you, he would not have started sleeping around the minute you walk out of the door. I think he is just using 'laziness' as excuse to break up with you so that he can sleep around. If he feels like having sex with you again, he might come back for a while, sleep with you, and then raise same or another issue to break up with you.

    You fell in love with the wrong person. Accept that and try to move on. I know it will be extremely difficult but if you let him play you like this, you will hurt yourself even more.

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    • It's not that easy when you love someone. He didn't break up with me for a little over a year and all the while asked me for help a lot and I didn't. I'm panicking dude

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    • I don't know why to say to that. But everyone says it cause he has only had me he know nothing else and is getting it out of his system. He may come back later but there so no way to tell yeah it's sad and pathetic and I should probably turn him away if he ever does but. I can't I live him too much

    • that is your decision.

Most Helpful Girl

  • don't fall apart. oj try to think of it this way that obviously if he still loves you he'll come back to you. dont blane yourself for all of this being lazy isn't a deal breaker but he did break up with you because of this reason. he'll come back obviously, but in the meantime just think about it he does this again and again because he knows how much you love him and he knows that you'll stay around and keep waiting for him he is just taking you for granted. when you go over there make sure you show him that this time isn't the same. this time you are fully ready to move on and dont care. I know this is not how you feel but just pretend ok? because think about it he slept with someone else. its not good. he thinks he can do anything hurt you in any way he wants and you'll still be there waiting for him when he comes back. make hin realise that that's not the case this time. I'm pretty sure it will work in some way. but above all, love yourself. dont let a guy just ruin you like that. love yourself.

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    • I will try to be strong. I'm just absolutely terrified of him not coming back. Do you know how it feels not waking up next to the person you feel is your soul mate every morning? It's hell and cold... but what do I do if he doesn't?

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    • yes. just be careful. dont let him back that easy. if you made promises then make him promise you too. don't let him hurt you like that.

    • Yep he made promise for some changes too (: I'm happy living with my dad so I don't have to fall back into old habits

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I am very sorry for you, it sucks that he is treating you this way.
    No matter how much you love him, you should always think about yourself and your rights!!! you should never be treated like that.
    I think the problem is he's taking you for granted! he knows how much you love and need!!! him. yeah he may love you, but he knows that you need him more so he's acting out this way.
    My advice for you is that you have to chill, stay cool for a couple of days, think about yourself and your rights!! and you shouldn't take him back this easily. if he loves you he will comeback yes!! but even if he does you shouldn't accept him!! cuz he doesn't appreciate you at all...
    work on yourself and try to rise to his level so that you can handle him and have a healthy relationship with him or with anyone new!! and seriously consider moving on!

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    • It isn't easy to move on dude. I know what I need to change but I really love him and sadly want him back. I don't want it to be done. What do I do?

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    • I can't find you on Facebook

  • he'll come back when he's sexually desired

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    • You really think that? He is basically had his friend move in with him for the summer and once that friend is gone he won't have a ride because his license will be suspended. Unless he gets another girlfriend he won't have anyone to drive him around

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    • You've done that too?

    • wish could do... nope... from my guirls experiences

What Girls Said 3

  • I know you don't want to hear this but you could do so much better. "Laziness" shouldn't be a reason to break up with a person and if he truly loved you, he'd accept you as you are. You shouldn't have to change for him. It sounds like he just has commitment issues. I'm sure you'll get back together with him if he asks but I think you shouldn't. You deserve someone who loves you for you and doesn't ask you to change or breaks up with you, sleeps around and then comes back. You deserve so much better. For now, go hang out with friends. Talk to them or your family about your feeling. They'll be great comfort and having a good time with them will be a good distraction. Time heals all, though it'll feel like an eternity til you feel better, but you'll get there

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    • But he stayed with me another year before leaving again. And all the while kept asking for help in between. Obviously I didn't help out. But I'm panicking because I love him so much. They are positive changes I just sat on my ass all day playing video games like a loser. I gave up an amazing relationship because I wanted to play games. It hurts so badly and I'm scared to see him today and we work together it's all so complicated but I'm at a loss please give me something other than move on

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    • A lot has happened I went to schoo lone year and stopped to do business with him my was my life because I made him taht I thought that we would stay together. I am lost. I've lost everything. My house my dogs my freedom my love all of it. It's so scary so fucking scary having nothing left. I'm terrified. He spoon fed me my whole life and now I'm alone. I just need him back

    • I highly recommend you find a counsellor 'cause this is a very tough thing to go through and you shouldn't go through it alone

  • You should move on, you can't wait for him your whole life. If he wants you, he will come back but you shouldn't forgive him.

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    • It's hard not to. You don't just get over someone you've been with for 5 years I think his is just sleeping around to cope. And if he has some freedom. I really miss him girl and I wan him back

    • I know you do, but sometimes it's better to just move on. And yes, I know it will be hard but if he doesn't want you, you can't waste your time on this kind of thing when probably happiness its waiting for you. You can ask him for a straight answer if he wants you or not, and if he doesn't, you know what to do. Its hard, but you need to.

  • Sleep with his friend to get him back. He wants a break from you in general to see other people. It is very clear. Let him feel what it feels like to lose you

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    • lol I would never do that I've only ever slept with him my entire life I can't revenge fuck. Let alone his friend ugh too much trouble. But I do want him back

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    • I think you definitely need to TAKE your POWER back. It was yours to begin with. As a woman, we have the power. Not that that is a game we should think of playing in usual circumstances however this "man" is being a real dick. Think of something that could show him how is BOSS again. Don't you dare give me any attention by messaging him or seeming broken by it.

    • Right I don't want to fall apart I have to go there today to get my shit. I don't want to fall soft but I'm not sure how it even if I can get him back. It's so sad and pathetic but I just want him back even if he did sleep around love is love

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