How to break up with someone who's in love with you?

There's this guy who's absolutely obsessed with me. He's athletic, values family, won't let me pay on dates, kind to everybody (unless they hurt me) and he's a HUGEE romantic which I love. But the problem is, I just don't love him. It was a rebound relationship for me, and I've been trying so hard to convince myself that I might feel the same way he does if I try, but I'm still in love with my ex. Except the problem is, I ended things with my ex because he did something that hurt me a lot and he definitely deserved it. My ex still likes me, but won't talk to me now because this rebound guy was his old friend. Just to clarify- I was not looking for a relationship.. my ex's friend hit on ME, even after my ex told him not to, and I told this new guy right off the bat that I didn't want to get into a relationship because of my involvement with my ex, but things took an unexpected turn and now we're dating. My ex and him go to the same school, play on the same sports team, and see each other EVERY SINGLE DAY. they've gotten into so many fights over me to the point where if they get into one more, they're going to be suspended. My boyfriend tells me how my ex still talks about me, and he goes up to my boyfriend and says things like "how was making out with her" or "are you gonna dump that phyco bitch". My ex talks shit about me behind my back now, probably because he's mad I ended things with him, but when we ACTUALLY talk, he tells me he wants to be friends again. Then, a few days ago he called & said "were done" just because I told my current boyfriend that he called previously and asked to hang out. I'm just so done with all the drama. Gonna lay my cards on the table here: I still love my ex. I don't want a relationship with him because he hurt me. I don't love my boyfriend. My boyfriend is in love with me. I have no idea how my ex feels towards me. How do I break up with my boyfriend without hurting him or admitting that I'm still in love with my ex?


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  • well first off, don't go back to your ex. Remember you broke up with him for a reason. He hurt you. And chances are, if you take him back, he'll do it again. He'll realize your feelings for him, and use that to take advantage of you. He probably only wants you back because his friend is so happy to be with you. zit the idea of you he wants, not actually you. And to be honest, the fact that you don't want this new nice guy but the old mean guy is astounding. Not to say it's not understandable. Old flames are hard to blow away. But don't fall for him. He will only drag you down. And as for the new guy, if you really can't find it in yourself to be with him, then do the right thing and break it off. Staying with a person you don't like is not only unfair to yourself, but even more too him. Because here he is, defending a girl tha t doesn't even reciprocate his love. But I'm not trying to sound like I'm judging you, it's just to have you see his side. Just come clean and tell him your feelings, you'll feel better, and you'll be able to move on.

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What Guys Said 15

  • 'How do I break up with my boyfriend without hurting him or admitting that I'm still in love with my ex?'... Lol, that's all you needed to say. Him being athletic or romantic or whatever is irrelevant. It's hardly going to change how you break up with someone.

    Talk to him, apologize and tell him the truth. If he's a decent guy, he'll respect that. He may be a little hurt, but he'll respect it. It's much better than just continuing on and pretending to care when you don't..

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    • Okay thank you so much. I know I need to do it, I'm just dreading it so much because he's actually a decent guy.

  • wow, loved reading that, if it wouldnd have happened quiet some time ago I thought u were talking about me xD, this one is easy for me, tell him he is a great guy but that you just are not in love with him and that he is a rebound (it sounds mean but trust me it would make it a lot easier for him to get over it) that ez

    my guess is, that he will understand, but you guys will loose contact

    ~tell me how it went ^,^

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  • There isn't an easy way, in fact the best way is the most brutal way.
    You need to make it 100% obvious you are not interested and dont want any further contact with him.. explain that he is nice and hasn't done anything wrong but you still love the ex and you are not going to be hacing any further contact with him.
    Let him move on and give him a clean break.

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  • Bruh just tell him the love isn't two ways and they need to move on lol it's tru tho

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    • Okayy. Thanks

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    • But generally guys like to be told exactly what's going on with the situation

    • Okay. Thank you for your input. I will tell him.

  • umm this is quite a complex thing. first thing first, dont go back to your ex. about this guy, sometimes rebounds turns out to be really good ones, it's a good idea to take a break, if you guys really have a chemistry you can reunite later.. let him be the man and face the reality the way it is

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  • For the sake of you boyfriend's integrity, just sit down with him and be honest, and try to avoid getting on your softer side, so he won't try to counter argument you

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  • if you dont love him no matter how good he is to you its just the best you leave him , tell him you are just not good for him and find someone who will love him back

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  • OK I'd tell you what I think after you tell me if your ex will ask to get back after he finds out that you dumped this current boy.

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    • No, I don't think so. My ex and I hurt each other too much to re-enter that relationship with one another.

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    • it's funny, we had a chat about the exact same. matter exactly a month ago.

    • but you've got to do what you've got to do now. the best way to take a plaster off is to rip it out at one go. so do it asap.

  • Tell them you don't fill love for them an that wouldn't be right to stay together cuz you can't fill that ever for them like you thought you could at 1 time

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  • Just tell him you're not into him

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    • Not that easy when he says "I love you" to me every. single. day.

    • See if you won't tell him
      His feelings will increase more so you better do it asap

  • you don't need that in your life. Tell him that you do not want to be the reason him and your ex end their friendship.

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  • Dude why would you go back to an ex the same shits happens all over again every time...

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    • I said in the description that I don't want a relationship with my ex. I just can't stop living him & don't see the point of being in a current relationship with someone I don't love, but he's an amazing guy & I just have no idea how to break things off with him when he did nothing wrong.

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    • I dunno, he kinda pushed me into the relationship & I don't see me liking him anytime soon. I know I have to break things off, it's just gonna be hard.

    • Umm ok then have fun

  • That's rough. What year are you in school?

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  • you're a bad person for this, end it, you're hurting people.

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  • we should love with who loves us lot why we are searching that one who don't values us.

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