I need help with a Break up why is it so hard to get over him?

i have broken up with my boyfriend for almost 2 months after 3 years and he apparently already found someone and I'm here so sad I'm usually good except at night which is the worst i tried going on dates but I just end up getting kinda more sad after it's just not working I don't know he's the first boyfriend I ever had only guy I've ever been with and I don't know I just don't understand why it's taking me so long to get over him and he got over me so quick?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I commend you for the strong mind you are displaying through this problem you are enduring. Here is why.

    1) Let me begin by saying both parties hurt. But there are those that want to heal and those who bury their pain.

    The reason why people move on early is because they are looking to take. People are creatures of desire; we especially desire to be loved and wanted. So does the person who move on quick heal? I'd dare say that it doesn't. Healing amd avoiding are two separate things! Why do we have so many people years later come back with the same mindset asking to be taken back? If they had truly appreciated you, they wouldn't have left you to begin with. It's through challenge and difficulty a relationship gets stronger.

    Similarly, to embrace the pain of break up is to become stronger individual. There is much beauty in what you do.
    First, you are declaring that what you had was special and you gave it all. You are willing to let it hurt you because you are owning up the fact you loved him.
    Second, you are showing that you will not stoop low to distract yourself from the pain. Many will compromise their standards (not expectations) to want to feel desired and loved even if that meant devaluing themselves. Need proof? Look at all those who jump from relationship to relationships and drinking away their problems in between. All ways to bury their problems and not deal with them.
    Lastly, gifts are rewarding. It comes in times of challenge. Embrace it, and you'll get it. You are already doing well maintaining your integrity (1) and honor (2). Your pick for relationship in the future can only get better. And best part, should he return, you know to tell him without any hesitation or feeling, "I've moved on because you left and I spent the time you spent fooling around, moving on."

    2) Nights are when you spend alone. Lonely gives time for thoughts. Try to exhaust yourself through activities, works, etc. And talk to your homies about it. Ones that'll give you honest feedback, not bitterness. You are trying to be better and move on, not hold grudge and kill your insides.

    Need more guidance? Leave comment.


Most Helpful Girl

  • The person he is with is a rebound to get over the pain of what happened with you. Guys move on quickly to not dwell on pain. You will get over it but cry it out. And have someone to talk to about it. Someone who will not get annoyed that you keep talking about it. And after awhile you will start getting bored with talking about him. This works.


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What Guys Said 5

  • What you need to do is sit down and accept he's gone, then don't let him get in the way of new relationships

  • who knows if he really is over you. I've dated after breakups without being over my ex

    • I'm learning this too. I am still in love with my former best friend (ten years)/FWB, but we have not spoken in a little over 3 years. He moved on quickly without me, and the world looks and feels like a less beautiful place without him​. I haven't been the same without him at all. Occasionally I question whether he ever actually loved me or even if he still does. He seems fine without me. I'm just glad that it all really does get better with time.

  • I can tell you from experience that it will get better overtime and if it has only been two months so both of you probably still have feelings even if you don't talk. I would say don't even try to get in a relationship right now. Focus on yourself and find something that you like to do. Hobby such as working out or just something that will make you feel good and accomplished. Hang out with family and friends. Breakups suck but just remember that you are in control of your happiness and you can be happy without him.

  • cause break ups are hard.. i mean you were there best friend for so long, now, they're nothing, for whatever reason..


What Girls Said 1

  • you are not trying in new relationships, because want him to come back to you. unfortunately chance of getting your way are slim


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