I've apologized several times for cussing at his aunt and he still keeps bringing it up?

So my ex boyfriend broke up with me and went back to his ex supposedly because I cussed at his aunt, but I've apologized to him several times and told him that I feel bad and I've cried to him about it and he's told me "It's ok. It's in the past." And I saw his aunt once shortly after the breakup at his birthday party and I apologized to her and he said "See? Why don't you be friends again?" I've apologized to him several times after that and that's when he's told me "It's ok. It's in the past." But he still keeps bringing it up! Why?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sometimes people say things they don't mean without knowing how they really feel. If he cares of his aunt, the experience must of hurt him badly. It was a good decision to apologise to the aunt, and it sounds like she's over it. However it doesn't sound like he's over it even though he says so.

    It also depends on the context of the conversation when he brings it up. If he brings it up during an argument, it's an attempt to make you feel bad. This is how some people argue, attack the persons feelings rather than the argument itself. If that's the case, take a break from the argument and cool down. Come back to the argument when you're both more rational.

    Arguing can be good as it's a way to solve problems, but if the argument is causing problems due to the irrational aggressiveness of the arguers then it's bad.

    He may also bring it up as a joke, which I doubt, but you haven't provided any context.

    Maybe you're asking him the wrong question. Instead, ask "why do you keep bringing up the moment when I swore at your aunt. You said you're over it, but if you were, you wouldn't keep bringing it up. It's getting annoying now because I'm still sorry but don't know what to do".

    Asking him when you're both in rational state of minds may get a true response from him. If he doesn't give a proper response, then he probably hasn't gotten over the situation, doesn't care, or is using it against you.

    Try to take note of the context of the conversation when he brings the moment up. Is he angry, are you two arguing, is he drunk. The context of the conversation will give you good insight.

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    • Thank you. Usually he's been bringing it up out of nowhere.

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    • I think his aunt is irrelevant to his feelings, but she could help persuade him.

      I did forget to say before, let him know that what he does is very annoying and you would like him to stop. If he cares about your feelings he'll stop.

      Some guys do enjoy annoying their friends though, so it may be a lost effort.

    • Is there anything I could/should say in particular? That's true. Ok thank you, I'll have to do that when I talk to him next.

  • I'll answer with an exagerated example: you just killed my mom. You apologized after you did. Does that make it better?

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    • That's too extreme of an example so of course not.

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    • Would it be bad/a bad idea to/if I contacted his aunt on Facebook? Or should I not? I don't know why but I keep feeling like messaging her.

    • My opinion is that you should just let it go. The damage is already done, you can't fix it. You could even do worse by doing this. if he wants to be left alone, he might consider this as your way of trying to get back into his life.

What Girls Said 1

  • Because he can't let go of the past.

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    • Why can't he just let it go?

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    • Would it be bad/a bad idea to/if I contacted his aunt on Facebook? Or should I not? I don't know why but I keep feeling like messaging her.

    • If you feel like it would make you more calm, go for it. You have nothing to lose, I think.

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