Should I avoid contact with my ex? She is with another guy but still has sex with me, is that a no no?

My ex got with this guy from work. I known him before I even knew her like over10 years from school. Never really a good friend just an acquaintance. A known doper guy(speed). I was with this girl in the past for about 2 years, she said I was mean and ran off with another guy! 3 years later she comes back I take her try to just drop all the old stuff and move on. were together another 2 years made me feel loved things started getting lame and she left me with all the bills and 3 days later she's living with this dude posting how in love she is with this guy! She came and slept with me twice. I was frustrated that she was just basically using and playing me so I told her new guy she slept with me and she's a cheating liar. She told him I was making it up to mess there relationship up. She told me I thought I could trust you! I don't believe in cheating and being deceptive I think it's very wrong! I have these strong urges to want to contact her even though she's with this guy! I need to realize why I shouldn't contact her! So please ladies make me realize I'm being an idiot and to just move on! I just loved her a lot that's why it's so hard for me

Updates:
I haven't contacted her in 2 months. It's hard and at times I want to message her and tell her I'm sorry for everything. I'm not though. Letting go of someone you love is hard!
O Thank you ladies for your advice!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, relax. I'm glad you have already realized that this girl isn't good for you or your future. I want you to think about this for a minute, with all of the drama and mishap she is causing do you really want to continue living as her "on the side" guy or her "go to" when things don't work out the way she wanted them to with some other guy? She probably figured you wouldn't tell her new boyfriend about her cheating because she assumes you still want to be with her. You don't need that by any means. Who is to say that she won't cheat on you (or hasn't for that means) if she is "so in love" with this new guy that she is cheating on? So you can't trust her and trust is a huge figure in a relationship of any kind. Contacting her will just hurt you more and I'm sure you don't want to continue on this same track you have been for a while now. You need to find a girl that respects you, enjoys being with only you, and isn't going to play stupid games with your heart. Pretty much, you need the opposite of what this girl is doing for you. Honestly, I'm not a mean person by any means but I'm glad you called yourself the idiot so I didn't have to. Love will come again, it may take time (and it should) but in the end you won't regret ditching this girl for good.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Should you avoid contact? You have said she's a liar. A cheat. Probably using you. Sleeping with both of you.. No wonder you are frustrated. Please get some self respect and STAY AWAY. She may be great in bed but afterwards when she dumps you ( again)... how will you feel then? Honey, she likes the sex. Period. She has no feelings for you that amount to anything. If she did - she couldn't do these things to you. Those who love do not cheat, lie, or sleep around. Find a nice girl who DESERVES YOU.. If you go back... be prepared for one more ride on that roller coaster. Who needs it? So you can feel terrible? Move on.

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  • I don't blame her for wanting to have sex with you still. Just sayin :p

    Its not easy to move on, it takes time... but what you are doing isn't going to help. You know this thing with her isn't gona go anywhere right? You will just end up getting involved in a lot of drama if not already.

    You seem like a nice guy, you really shouldnt let people treat you the way she is treating you. You deserve better.

    You will find her... after you get rid of your ex, completely.

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  • first off, you are hot, hope that cheers you up a bit. Second, she will cheat on you(period) that is all, she will cheat on you if you give her a chance to do it. She obviously doesn't think of love and sex as sacred things and though sex can be flippant, love shouldn't. Saying she loves some guy after 3 day? she doesn't respect the institution of love, and doubtfully respects you as well.

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  • It seems to me like this girl just wants to keep you around in case things go downhill in the relationship she's in so that she has someone to run back to. But then she'd probably do the same thing and leave again if she did come back. And who knows if your the only guy that she's doing this with. If you don't feel right being with her and sneaking around, then you shouldn't.

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