I was hung up on my ex for three months in the ending school year when we broke up. He told me things like I was a mean person and that he never wanted to be with me again, and that he loved me but fell out of love with me. We ended our relationship arguing over little things, no infidelities or anything. Beginning of summer, I was sick of being sad and I decided that I had to cut him out of my life - I had been asking all of my friends to tell me what I could do to get him back and I was sick of finding ways to grasp something that was obviously already gone. Anyway, he came to my house again like he usually would to torture me (not literally, but he always came over randomly to see me but not wanna be with me like I did him) and I asked him one last time (because I asked him a lot and I knew the answer was gonna be the same, but I needed to hear it to help myself) if he was sure he never wanted to be with me and that summer wouldn't change his mind about us. He said he was sure, and so I said then we can't talk or see each other at all this summer so I could heal. He said he understood. Two weeks later he calls me at 12:30 in the morning saying he missed and loved me. He wanted to be in my life as my friend. I told him no, he asked me why I couldn't try and I told him that for the same reasons he gave me as to why we couldn't be together (I didn't want to, I can't) we can't be friends. He tried being honest with me (cause' I told him we can't be honest like friends are) by saying he had sex with this girl (who is fugly, but besides the point) and I actually didn't care. I genuinely am over him and I'm really glad I am. He told me that when I told him we couldn't talk, that was the first time he's ever felt his heart break (which wasn't cute, considering I would think the first time was when we broke up...guess not. Jerk). I sent him home because I knew it was dragging on, and had my friend who is his best friend call him to make sure he was okay. He told her he wanted to kill himself he was so upset, which is so not like him to say. I know he wouldn't do it, but that's not something you just say. Then my other friend told me yesterday that he said the same thing to her and when she saw him he was "beyond sad" and told her he constantly wanted to come to my house to see if I was okay, see my face and hear my voice if it was even just to tell him to go away. That's weird of him, considering he only wants to be my friend. Who wants friendship that badly? Is it more that he's not saying? What is going through his head? He also said that after his road trip he has some pics he wants to gimme that his grandma developed, and I know they're of us from Xmas. Why would I need them? Help, sorry this is a novel.