He ignored my apology for our messy split. I sent it yesterday and still no reply... do you think he will come around?

We had a very nasty breakup in November 2016, he said never speak to him again. We blocked one another completely but started chatting again in May (he unblocked first). He immediately reverted back to being angry a week later when he saw the new guy I was dating on Snapchat and blocked my number again. I called just to clear the air and he shouted you "You have a boyfriend go be with him, I'm at work. Don't call me you have a boyfriend" he wouldn't even allow me to get one word in before he ended the call. I sent him this text instead:

"My current personal life doesn't take anything from the fact I still care about you and wanted to put things right in terms of the animosity whether we're in each other's lives or not.

A lot of time has passed and although the last few months have been awful between us I had an amazing summer with you regardless of what I've said in anger you really took care of me and I truly appreciate everything you did. You made me so happy at the time and I'd never felt that way before so thank you. Losing essentially my mother straight after just sent me completely over the edge with the drinking and personality change cus I found it hard to cope.

My whole personality and way of doing things were based on her influence and I was just completely heartbroken and in shock so I tried to stupidly act like a bad girl which was completely ridiculous. I've said and done some things I'm ashamed of towards the people I love and care about and I'm just trying to make amends with everybody now I'm feeling stronger and happier.
I've tried an olive branch but at the same point I need to respect your boundaries so I'll leave you be but in the short that's more or less what I wanted to say.

I'm sorry for how it all played out and from my heart, I wish it didn't.
I really hope you're doing well. Xx

The thought of these bad feelings between us hurts me. The guy on snap isn't even my boyfriend we're just dating, does he hate me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the best thing you can do at this point is give it some time, don't contact him or do anything rash or out of the ordinary (don't block him or anything like that). I'm going to be frank here, sorry if I offend you, I don't think you're a bad person at all, people make mistakes.

    I did my best to put myself in his shoes and he probably thinks you're a giant bitch and hates you (no offense, just going off of both your questions you've asked about him). Which believe it or not could actually be a really good thing. People only hate people to that extend when they really care about that person, in order for him to hate you that much it means he probably loves you (don't get our hopes up though). He thinks you're playing games with him and that you're not a trustworthy person. Why? You two met up on Valentines day and it ended in a disaster and you even sold him out on the girl he was dating. I can bet my ass that before he met you for that talk he was imagining how things would turn out between you two and that you two might get back together etc, but it didn't happen. You two met on Valentines day out of all days. You betrayed his trust. Then he got really jealous of the new guy and is probably mad at you for dating someone and opening up to him, he probably thinks what you're doing is wrong since you're being a bit of a hypocrite because when he did the same on Valentine's day you betrayed his trust (obviou what he did on Valentines day was more serious than you unblocking him). He's confused, on one hand he really wants you back and for things to be back the way they were but on the other hand he thinks that you're just going to eventually burn him. It can honestly go 50/50, the love is there but if he has zero trust in you he won't give it a try. Also, he's been clear to you that he doesn't want to speak to you while you have a "bf" (obviously just dating). While the letter was sweet and thoughtful, I don't think you sent out the right message to him. What I got from that letter is that you want the animosity between you two to end, but not necessarily get back together, if you did you would have told him that you'd rather be with him than anyone else. What you said was that yes I'm seeing someone but I appreciated the time we spent together, I don't see anywhere in that letter that you actually want to be with him, in fact I just see it as an apology and I'm moving on with my life.."whether we're in each other's lives or not". If he does contact

    • I highly suggest you two meet up and have REAL open communication because you're just tiptoeing around how you two are actually feeling and hence the anger and jealousy. He doesn't know what's in your head or that you really want to be with him. So if you two meet up you need to build his trust in you again and that starts with telling him you really care about him and there's no one else you'd rather be with, let yourself be vulnerable so you don't have any regrets years from now. m because that's the only way you can win him back, if he sees exactly how you feel about him so he doesn't overthink things and thinks and then assume you don't really care. Best of luck to you and if he contacts you back keep us updated.

    • Show All
    • Thank you, I really appreciate the time you have taken to help me! He has blocked me on every method of communication I can think of: Facebook, Whatsapp, Snapchat, Call. I had to send him the text from my brother's phone because I had no other way to contact. I did feel it was kind of creepy I went to the length of using another phone to say what I had to say but I couldn't deal with just leaving things as they were.

      This is a man who has asked me to move on, he has asked me to meet another guy because he said he is 'bad news' so that is why I started to date again and I didn't know he would react in this way. I'm going to do as you say and just be patient but I think that making further contact will prove fruitless. I just wanna know what he's thinking argh

    • that was good. +1

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's good that you're at the point where you're asking for forgiveness and it's a sign that you came out stronger from whatever situation you had going on. It's hard to receive a silence after you poured your heart out but regardless of what happens with him, you need to moved on. He may remain silent, he may respond negatively, and that's a sign that he's stuck in the past. If he's not willing to let it go and forgive you, then don't waste your time trying to fix it. You're beyond that.


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What Guys Said 6

  • He may very well still have feelings for you considering how he reacted. Overall, when a breakup has been messy or non mutual, a person may feel hurt / upset when you tell them you still care about them. That's probably his case. However, in the meantime you've moved on and are trying to convey your feelings maturely. He may come around, but depending on what kind of person he is, he might not.

  • Hold your horses, would you!
    You just texted him yesterday. He's angry. Give him time and space to read, process and reply in his own time.
    If he's angry about you getting a date, he's probably just jealous and still really likes you and wants to be with you. You should clear it up with him that he's not your boyfriend and that you two should start dating again. Take the time to listen to each other once you're healed. Sort out your problems with each other. Let the pain flow without any blame. Just true, honest feelings.
    If that doesn't help the pain go away, you both need to take the time to move on from each and let go before you can come back to enjoying each other. Sadly, you must remove the negative aspects to find space for the more positive ones.
    That's all I can say with such limited information.

  • He's being a big baby. I don't know if I would get back envolved with someone who's that immature. He obviously feels like he owns you. Do not condone this type of behavior. It's just like a dog, you have to tell it no in order to stop it from thinking it's the boss. You didn't have to say all that shit either. Past relationships are in the past and if you get back together with someone, you guys have to start over. People change a lot in that span of time so if I was you and I was still interested, I would just say hey let's meet up and talk. Y'alls issues can't be talked about over the phone. You have to sit down. Is it even worth it to you though? I feel like women will often want closure and they go back to the ex for that, they bring up old feelings, sleep with the ex or something and than they totally fuck their heads up when all along they should have just shut off the ex and moved on to the better option in their face.

  • He's obviously jealous and not interested, why are you trying?

    • How can you be jealous and not interested at the same time? He is the person who opened the lines of communication in the first place and started to be kind to me before the picture.

    • It's possible. You're just thinking of it in the realm of healthy thinking, if someone's that jealous even when they're not with you, they're not in a good state of mind.

      Well I'd say just don't talk to him, it seems useless. What's the point. You tried, move on?

  • LOL, what type of person are you? You must not think of him anymore you are the reason of all it says

    • I'm not all of the reason at all. We ended because he couldn't be bothered to be faithful in an LDR and as soon as he split with me he began sleeping with someone else, calling me drunk crying at night saying how much he missed me and the next day pretending he didn't say it.

      I am an extremely shy and timid girl, he is the opposite to me so even when we were together it the same city I would try and diffuse any tension if there was any (rarely) and he is really impulsive, impatient and quite arrogant at times.

      Aside from these differences, we balanced each other out and we always had an amazing time and never wanted to be apart. When he moved my Mother died suddenly at Christmas I began a spiral of heavy drinking and personality change, I was a completely different girl and I began to act in ways I had never done before especially towards him and other people in my life.

      It's called grieving.

    • I'm on your side girl. time to move on honey.

  • From the bottom of my heart I wish things were different too, you said it so well

    What will it take for things to change between the 2? Please tell me...


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