How long before an ex reaches out to reconcile?

Dated a year and a half. Shitty break up. He said he loved me and I do love him. Only been 5 days since break up. But have been curious to know.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't count on it. NEXT!

    Why exactly was it a 'shitty' break up? What exactly does that mean to you?

    When two people get to the point where they can no longer deal with the other and break it off, it's a sign that they are simply not compatible, that they don't have the coping tools in place, that their own position or opinion is more important.

    A lasting relationship puts that relationship above all differences. Arguments are tabled before they escalate - you can come back later and discuss them, in some cases this can take several times, and even simply realize you agree to disagree. You WILL NOT agree on everything, that is impossible.

    So after a week I would say you have a break wide enough as to not be repairable. Sometimes a realization is made, sometimes things can be reconciled. But I wouldn't put much weight in that.

    What is your backup plan?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex never reached out to me (I believe most men are too prideful to) but a year later, I called him just to say hey. We dated for a few years. wasn't a bad breakup. He was excited to hear from me. We caught up on life. So now every so often we just check in on each other in a strictly friendly manner. Keep yourself busy, cliche I know, but it works. The less desparate and affected by the breakup appear, the more they want you. Thats just my opinion. If you can't wait a year before you reach out, wait 6 months. there's no rule that says he has to reach out. It has worked with all my exes. I go MIA for months or years. Then one day I call them, or run into them and its like science. They blow up my phone. Not to sound conceided but its because I created my own life after them.

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What Guys Said 18

  • You broke up but you are expecting a reconciliation? So you just broke up "for effect?" That sounds like too much drama for most guys.

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  • Don't wait for that shit. Just write down how you feel about it and tell him what you think about it and then be done with it. You might want to prepare yourself to be angry that he won't give you the same courtesy because maybe he won't and he'll just avoid talking to you at all, that's what my ex did and I had to deal with it by accepting that she wouldn't talk about it and I let myself be angry about that and it helped me get over it. lol.

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  • Give it a week with zero contact and see if he comes back to you. If he doesn't then casually message him a week after that (so two weeks later) and ask him how he is going etc but keep it casual. If he hasn't initiated contact at all then move on and fuck him off, he's wasting your time and probably working on another chick.

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  • could be never or soon I don't know. I wouldn't just expect it.

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  • Hopefully never. If they're not in my life any more, there's a reason.

    In your case, who knows.

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  • I dumped my ex and talked to her once when she came to get her shit out of my house.

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  • The way he ended things I would say never unless he wants to fuck one last time or be friends with benefits. Thats why I was blunt and said time to move on.

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  • Depends, he left you so in order to continue that, he has to pick it back up at his own pace. Therefore i had a girl who i was dating cut me off and never wanted anything to do with me again, a month later she messaged me, then a couple of days after, but you litetally have to focus on yourself and improve, distract your mind

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  • He may never, you have to accept that. Besides, needyness is unattractive for both genders.

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    • it is but only in the start. when you are in a relationship that is more than a few years old thatn there's no needyness no being desperate.

    • @Notgonnatell

      Lots of people break up/get divorced after many years for feeling their partner has become too needy.

    • it just means that their love wasn't true in the first place. because when you love eachother and live with eachother like in a marriage its obvious you get dependant. the difference is that guys are acting just as needy as girls but they hide it better and they dont even feel they're doing it. and when a girl in some way acts the same way they siddenly stop liking her. double standards

  • Maybe never. Maybe weeks, maybe months.

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  • I am not sure everyone is diff

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  • Depends

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  • depends. from two weeks to maybe a year.

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  • Never if they know what's good for em

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  • sometimes never

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  • they shouldn't be?

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What Girls Said 1

  • whenever they feel the need to get some closure they'll reach out then..

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