I need help moving on. I want to hate her but I really cant?

I recently found out my girlfriend of a few months has a boyfriend of 5 years that she never told me about.

Long story short. I saw her tagged on instagram as his girlfriend on day and confronted her. At first, she denied things but eventually admitted it and told me she actually never did love me and just thought of me as a friend and didn't want to lose me as a friend.(Which is strange because she was the one who wanted me to stop talking to other girls and to call her my gf). It hurt a lot because I truly did love her and she told me she loved me too.

Anyways, I know I've talked about what happened in my previous posts here so I won't dwell on it too much. I basically told her I love her but I also want her to be happy so I won't try to break her up and do anything and I'll just let them continue their relationship.

I know I should hate her for lying to me and manipulating me but as much as I want to hate her, I can't. I think the one thought I keep thinking about isn't her but hoping her boyfriend treats her right and makes her happy.

And honestly, I'm having a hard time getting over her because of that. I keep missing her and wishing I could see her. I feel like this isn't a productive way to get over someone. I know that I deserve better and there will be better people out there for me, but I truly believe that once you love someone, you never stop loving them; you just end up hating them more than you love them. And right now, Im finding it really hard to hate her.

Any advice I guess? :/ Thanks in advance :)


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What Girls Said 1

  • You have to stop fooling yourself at some point and know that if you do miss her, let yourself grieve that part of you, but her tricking you and being selfish like that is just plain immoral of her. You have to ask yourself why you trust so easily, when it comes to love and betrayal like that. Love yourself enough to move on

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    • I actually had trouble trusting her at first. She would sometimes seem distant and wouldn't always say I Love You back and I asked her if something was going on. She promised me there was no one else and that she's the only one she loved.

      I couldn't shake the feeling but I attributed it to me just being paranoid since my last girlfriend cheated on me and I decided I would trust me...

      Probably should start judging people better xD

    • Look, be selfish and just be an asshole that puts himself first. Wants, desires and uncomplicated.. if you're gut is telling you something different trust it. Trust yourself.

What Guys Said 2

  • Bro you need to get over her ass, she didn't even really love you. Get over it and find another girl. Love is overrated and if you believe that once you love someone you never stop then you are greatly confused... like you have your own will and you can stop loving someone... the girl is stupid for deceiving you and you were dumb to fall for her. Get over it and move on. Find another chick that is 1000 times better than her. Sorry for my brutal honesty...

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    • Haha thanks for the brutal honesty. I know its not what I wanted to hear but its definitely what I need to hear. Maybe if I hear it enough times, it'll finally stick :/

  • Don't make it about her. Whatever you feel let it be there. You have to focus on your life. Meet new people and achieve your goals. Work on them. Everything else will fall in place.

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