I was in a relationship with her for 3 years. In this time, we had some conflicts. And I think it's my fault, that she could not trust me anymore.
We met at a party, when we both were at age 19, we had nice conversations, talked the whole night, kissed, laughed much and I brought her to her home. After about 3 months of meeting I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said “I thought you'd never ask me“. After 3 months in a relationship I told her something, that I realized. That I look at other girls (despite the fact, that she is amazing). I wanted to say the truth. Nevertheless, we were a couple for 3 fucking years, but the topic was always in her mind. Thats why we argued a lot. I had two girls before her and my best friends had something with them, this is why I was careful with girls and thought, if it was the right decision to be that close to one person again.
Well.. we had these conflicts about other girls. After a certain time she saw something I didn't do. She was afraid, I could hurt her everyday. In her last relationship she wasn't treated good as well and she build a shield to not get hurt. She was afraid when I was on facebook, when I wanted to do sth alone, when I was at work and so on. But I couldn't be mad, because I made her this way.
But after it became too much I felt the need to break up with her to give both of us the chance to be the way we are. I felt like I am in a cage and she had to worry everyday. I felt good a few days after that. But now, after 4 months, I want her back. I wrote her some letters 2 months ago how I feel sorry and that these things should have never happened. I also told her that I love her. She said she needs time and that she's happy now and is concentrating on herself, but she would meet me to “do someting on a normal level without intentions“. But since 1 month we don't write anymore (whatsapp), I don't wanna get on her nerves since she is partying every weekend and seems to be happy..