I was dumped for being "too nice"... Do ladies just want me to be a jerk?

I don't understand why you would enter a relationship fully knowing that he's "A nice guy", and then break his heart because he's too nice.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "Too nice" means you can be taken advantage of. It can mean that you are more in love with her than she is with you.

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    • Thanks for the straight forward opinion. If she had just said that, it would've saved me a lot of time figuring out what I could've done. But, oh well... Better no relationship than a one sided relationship, am I right?

Most Helpful Guy

  • You're a nice boy.

    What women want is a nice, emotionally strong -man-.

    Imagine a dad who gives his kids whatever they want. They ask for candy every day for dinner, so that's what he gives them. Is he a good dad? He's trying so hard!

    You probably don't expect to treat a girlfriend like a child you have to parent. And you don't, quite.

    But thinking of it that way might help start shifting you in the right direction.

    Treat her well. Treat yourself well. Don't give in to tantrums. Make her feel safe by virtue of the fact that you don't emotionally fall apart when she acts up. That makes her feel like you can take care of her, because you're tougher than she is, emotionally.

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    • Wow. I've never thought of it like that. I gave her what she wanted... But maybe she knew that getting what she wanted wasn't healthy, no matter how hard I tried. Thank you so much for this!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Ehh in my opinion that's bogus I think she was saying that cuz she didn't wanna tell u the real reason

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    • Darn... That kinda hurts. Oh well, maybe it wasn't meant to be. 😊

    • Don't stress there's nothing wrong with you. Things just don't work out boo keep your chin up

  • No, they just want someone who stands out beyond nice. Nice is a trait that most people you associate with have. You have to have more to offer. Also too nice often means you're falling into asskissing territory or overkill which can become obnoxious and weird.

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  • that's stupid

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  • Nah I wouldn't encourage you to change who u are. It is such a stereotype but not all girls go after jerks. There's nothing better than a cute, kinda nerdy guy who is a sweetheart. I didn't always appreciate them tbh but I don't waste my time on jerks anymore. Only nice guys.

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    • Thanks for that. Your opinion actually boosted my mood quite a bit. I don't mean to re-enforce the stereotype, I apologize if that's what it came off as. Perhaps there still is hope for me. 😊

    • I'm glad it made u feel better. And yes of course, the right girl will appreciate you for being exactly who u are.

What Guys Said 4

  • I say she maybe just thought that you would be good but it didn't work... Maybe the girl wants guys that aren't as nice as you are. And that's ok, because one day you will find someone who likes nice guys... Just forget her and move on... I'd say some girls like nice and some don't... they also like confidence too though... so maybe she thought you weren't confident enough for her. Maybe she wanted you to take charge more and you didn't because you are too nice.

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    • Thanks for your opinion. I'll have to keep this in mind in the future. 😊

  • Because young girls are confusing, just like young men. That's why they say wait till you get older to date.

    Maybe you have other issues she didn't like and wanted to let you down easy.

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    • Understandable. Perhaps in the end, she was too nice to let me down. πŸ˜‚

  • Maybe ur toooo nice. You should have hit or somethingπŸ˜‚

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  • I think when i girl calls you nice, she could be refering to you always doing what she wants, you bending to her will, focusing all about her. guys that are too nice, will beat around the bush a lot. while you should still support her, were you pursuing your own goals and ambitions? maybe pick up a hobby. Girls like a guy who strives for success.

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    • Thanks for the response. I am currently finishing up my senior year in school and applying for colleges, as well as practicing for my film career. I'd say I'm striving towards my own goals, but perhaps it just wasn't enough?

    • Well to me it sounds like you have goals! how did you treat her when you were together? if you had her up on a pedastal and she felt like you always went out of your way for her, then that might consitute as too nice. definitely in the future dont go and think girls want an asshole for a boyfriend. girls just don'% want a clingy boyfriend (and im not saying you are).

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