A few years ago I left my wife for this woman, we were sort of together but was more like friends with benefits as I needed time to read adjust, then when it came to me wanting to fully commit she gets with another dude, falls pregnant then a couple of months later start sleep together (yes whilst she was pregnant) they've now both split up and I got a text and was in contact but then it faded out and she ghosts me. Now just had a message to say do I wanna hang out with her this weekend.
What is it she wants?
Most Helpful Girl
So the original arrangement was friends with benefits, but you decided you wanted to commit to more? Did she ask for your commitment or something more from you? Because, unless she specifically expressed to you that she wanted to be in a more serious committed relationship with you, I don't see what the problem is. If you had a friends with benefit arrangement, then it seems that she's done nothing more than continue on living her life as usual. There is no contract that keeps a person bound to providing benefits in a friendship. The benefits can be stopped at any time by either party. There also isn't some binding contract for women to commit to the father of her child either, just like there is no contract for the baby's father to commit him to the child's mother. Any outside opinion on this becomes a moral judgement and often results in a double standard.
The friends with benefits thing doesn't come without the consequence of one or both parties involved getting hurt on some level. Once the line is crossed, boundaries become hard to set.1
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Most Helpful Guy
She wants anything that will pay attention to her - it's called desperation. And you're falling for it. I would caution you to not - to either get back with your wife or just move on.
You'll never mean jackshit to this woman.0