Did he leave because of me?

Alright, this is a long story, so brace yourselves.

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over two years. Before we started dating I was in an extremely physically and emotionally abusive relationship. Once it ended, I told my now-boyfriend I wasn't ready for a relationship as I still had physical and mental scars. He understood but things kept progressing and we shortly ended up together anyways. Because of how I was treated, I was horrified to get close to someone again. Almost every day, I would scream at him to go away or to leave me alone or get scared when he got to close to me because I didn't want to be hurt in that way again. All throughout this time he was extremely good to me and understanding and never once said an unkind word. This continued for about a year. the situation did improve a ton as he continued to prove to me he wouldn't hurt me but I would still push him away sometimes and say some awful things.
One week he was acting distant and cold towards me. I had no idea why but this continued for about a month. Finally, he told me that maybe we shouldn't be together. He told me that he loved me but felt like he couldn't make me happy.

We both still loved each other and things were very on and off for a few months. But he told me later that he had been seeing someone for a few weeks before we broke up and all during the time when we were on and off together. It was someone he had been friends with for about 6 months and would hang out with regularly... (not one on one but in a group) but I never expected anything between the two of them (especially since she had a boyfriend). He said the furthest they went was making out but that they would do so almost every day.
Please don't think I don't understand my fault in this because, believe me, I do. I was so wrong. But it's still something I can't get out of my head. Did he leave me because I pushed him away so much? Or did he leave me because he fell in love with somebody else?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • pushed him away too much he got jaded and found someone who was more responsive to him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well there's only so much a person can take. How would you feel if you kept trying to get close... And waiting for him to open up and trust you but he kept pushing you away even after you did the most you could to convince you were there to stay? Obviously you'd question what was wrong with you. He obviously tried and got nowhere with you. So sadly, I'd say you did in fact pushed him away. He wasn't happy with what you guys had and someone who could actually give him what he was looking for... came along. And so he decided it was no use to try with you because he already given it all and you still stayed stuck on the past.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You are why he left.

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What Girls Said 2

  • He put in so much effort, and all you kept doing was pushing him away.. You made him give up.. His kindness went unappreciated.

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    • I do agree with you, completely. However, his kindness was not unappreciated or unnoticed. While I was completely awful sometimes, the rest of our relationship was wonderful and we couldn't have got a long better or loved each other more. And those scared, awful, freak out moments I would have decreased to the point where they would only happen once every 2 months or so. (Still horrible of me.) but things did get so much better... and I think that's what makes me wonder whether it was that or if he just fell in love with somebody else.

  • i hate to say this but, pushing him away was probably a big reason why he left. he sounded like he really was patient with you, but a person can only take so much. it was an ass move of him though to be seeing someone when you guys were still together, even if the relationship wasn't at its best stage. i hope you recover from the trauma your ex-ex boyfriend did to you. no one deserves that :(

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    • the emoji was suppose to be a sad face not an annoyed face btw!! haha

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