Help? how to realize its time to move on?

it's been almost two months since my ex broke up with me after 2+ years together. for some stupid reason, i agreed with being friends with him and he initiated text conversations with me almost every day. i thought staying friends was the way to get him back (stupid, i know). some weeks after the breakup, we even met once, as he offered to help me with something. in that day, we were really getting along like before and HE kissed me, and i thought i was finally getting him back as i still love him so i felt super happy but then he told me he doesn't actually want to date me, it was just a 'thing of the moment'. 6 days ago, we started no-contact, as i need to heal, and as he said he needs to "distance things" (he was the one dumping me, breaking all distances with the kiss, and then he tells me he needs space). i plan to stick to no-contact for more time, even if he contacts me. curiously, in the day we stopped talking, i randomly ran into him in a store and he, who acted all stoic during all this time, looked like a sad puppy and was noticeably worried and feeling somewhat bad for seeing me.

im trying to move on with myself but it is so difficult as i thought we had a real connection. i know i've improved some things already, like exercising more often, eating better, finding a summer job, improving myself in general. but it still hurts. does it ever get better? is it really "out of sight, out of mind" or is it "absense makes the heart grow fonder"?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From my experience - go find yourself some quick distraction. Those things you mentioned are great examples " exercising more often, eating better, finding a summer job, improving myself in general". Awesome ideas. If those don't work, you can always try meeting guys. Don't think of this like some rebound thing. Just try to replace one guy with the next. Just don't go too far or you will turn into some slut and you wouldn't want that. You will feel even worse after that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • you'll move on quickly than you think you will. staying friends after breaking up doesn't give the ex who broke up, any chance or time to miss you and they keep talking to you and feel like she's better as my friend and nothing nore and then move on while we girls take it as an opportunity to get back together if we'll stay friends. thats not how it works. no contact rule should've been appkied from the very first day he broke up with you. that way, if he loved/loves you, he'll miss and think about you for sure and maybee he'll come back. this is the best rule to apply for us girls because we nourn the start few weeks but then when you realize that life is much more relaxing without all the relationship baggage and drama, girls move on and boys after a few weeks realize what a dumb thing they did breaking up with you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • People break up for a reason. A little makeup sex or kissing isn't going to heal that until those people become compatible again internally. So, it's probably best you move on. Delete his number or any social contact. Throw away memories. There's plenty of people that would want to be in a relationship with you and are better for you, but you won't know until you get back on the saddle.

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    • i know, i didn't expect to get together just over a kiss and making out but i didn't think he would do such thing knowing i still have feelings for him and he doesn't want to be with me.
      thank you very much for your input though!

  • ^basically what he said. and fuck that guy honestly lol

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What Girls Said 1

  • By posting this you've already realised it. Continue your no contact and you're doing all the right things. It's just hard =( but worth it in the end

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