The mother of my now ex boyfriend was the cause of the break up. Am I really the one to blame? What do you think?

So I've known him for some years, then we started to date. Things were ok. Suddenly he said he couldn't go out, his mother was controlling his money. Then he started getting mad at me b/c I didn't go and stay with his mother while he was at work. Demanded that I phoned his mother everyday. That I arrived at his house to see him, but arrived earlier in order to stay with his mother. Asked me to lend him money twice. Couldn't go out only if I paid. Couldn't see me in my house, and invited me to see him in his house b/c his mother demanded that he did the housework. Yesterday i was at his house, she told him to clean the house and he got mad at me for not helping properly... he got mad told me I should leave whenever I wanted b/c he was not taking me home (second time)... well I took it as an invitation for me to go out. Today he phoned, didn't want to break up... BUT... he told me his mother got very ill (yesterday all she had was a simple cold) and that I should leave my things and see her ASAP... BUT he knew that I couldnt go... b/c my mother and his mother had an argument and he knew I wasn't going there so as I wouldn't annoy my mother. Ok. A few minutes later... he texted me. Told his poor mom was very bad, couldn't even get up to have lunch. And I told I was sorry hope she gets well soon... I also told him that it was nice of him to understand that I couldn't leave my tasks to go and look after her. And it was true that I didn't want to annoy my mother. So he immediately reacted "just forget me, that's an absurd that you don't go to see the mother of your boyfriend". And broke up. Ok not counting that she didn't hide that she didn't want his son to have a girfriend... he denied it, but demanded me to do things to please her all the time. I found all the situation very strange, abnomal. But he wants me to believe I was the one to blame... what do you all think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Very strange and abnormal and he's a fucking adult he should do what be wants. Its good you are done with him. You don't want to be involved with a person like that

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Most Helpful Girl

  • him and his mother are both at fult. you're not wrong at all. take this opportunity to free yourself. he broke up with you, thats too bad you should've broken up with him. but he made things a lot easier for you so consider that you dodged a bullet and run because they both seem like the psychopath villains of a hollywood mystery/thriller movie.

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    • Oh my God! I am sad and scared... he seemed so sincere.. so honest

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    • And at the same time he truly believed that asking me to go nurse his mother all of a sudden is so normal... b/c is what his mother tells him... she brainwashed him severely...

    • yeah sounds like that

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What Guys Said 4

  • No your not all to blame it takes 2 to make things work

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  • you were never to b blamed frm the beginning... u choose the wrng guy... everythnb went wrng... ths wasn't ur fault... how cn someone ask u to do tht? so what if he was ur bf? cnt his mother knw how to behave wth a lady? wth her own kid in front of his gf? n sayng all those crap n stuff? i never tuk tht.. how cn some guy do tht to his girl?

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    • Yes... I tried so much to understand his point, thought he needed help, but no... he told me I was spoiling our relationship only b/c of a silly question... that is, I didn't leave my to nurse his mother - even though he had asked me not to phone her and told me he knew I wouldn't go there... trying to make some sense out of all this mess is very difficult.

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    • always here to help 😊 hope we cn be friends someday

    • We certainly can be friends, you helped a lot.

  • Don't blame yourself. he and his mother should understand better.

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    • I'm sad b/c I was very disappointed , b/c at first he seemed to understand my point of view, but he told me "I know you can't leave your house now"... but expected me to do the opposite. And blamed of many things. I got very confused because I couldn't understand what was with his mother that he wanted me to be alone with her, wanted me to phone her on a daily basis, he demanded so many things involving his mother and accepted as normal not going out with me... just inviting me to clean the house with him.

    • that is not right. you must forget about this and move on without any regret it guilt.

    • I agree... it's so hard to admit that a person who seemed so sincere and seemed to like me for real was just trying to use me. He really "liked" as long as I did things his way - and his way was a highly strange way.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Relationship with his mother is toadally unhealthy!!! Apron strings are strangling him!!! & you!!! This whole thing is TOXIC!!! Get out now!!! God bless you!!!

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    • I am sad and I know that his mother demanded him to break up. I am so sorry for it all

  • you dodged a bullet... momma's boy...

    granted his mother is controlling, but come on!

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