Please help, what should I do?

Me and my ex have starting talking again after realising things, and we are just seeing how things work out. As he was my bestfriend prior to dating, so we are friends at the moment but it's more than friends.. but we aren't dating as it's not the right time and we just want to get to know one another again, and it's not something he can commit to and I don't want to get hurt. I'm trying so hard with him and to show him I've changed but it's a little frustrating as sometimes he ignores me for long periods of time or doesn't respond, it seems I mostly initiate contact. I'm not expecting him to talk to me 24/7, I understand he is busy and has his own life. He willing talks to me all day, but sometimes mostly on the weekends his communication gets real poorly or when he's hanging out with his friends, but it would be nice for him to say I'm busy talk later rather than ignore me, I find it rude and if I bring that up with him, I get a lecture on how I'm being crazy psycho and that I'm still immature etc. I'm not trying to act that way but it makes me feel as if he doesn't care. Sometimes he acts strange but whenever we talk over the phone he's so happy and tells me amazing things, he's not one to open up or talk about his emotions which can be difficult but recently he has been more honest and we are making progress, but it's like one day he's good then one day he isn't. I have been making a lot of effort and chasing him entirely, and I do everything to show him how much he means to me, I just feel it's not reciprocated and that I'll end up hurt. But it's things like this that make me worried and I don't know what to do. We had a little disagreement two days ago and he hasn't responded to me at all so I waited but he didn't text so I text him saying hey, but he ignored that too and I still haven't heard from him...
I don't want to argue with him if he texts back but it's not okay to do that. Should I back off? and how to do so?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should be extremely careful. From my judgement he might not be interested in you enough you might be a fall back. I don't want to hurt your feelings but be careful.

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    • It's complicated, I know. But I felt as if we were making good progress, and he does seem interested at times like very heavy so that's why I'm confused as I know he's not one to open up with feelings etc. He told me that he likes me a lot more than friends but our circumstances are unfortunate, we spoke about it all but I don't think he knows what he wants he's confused and always goes on about our deep connection. We do have a real good thing which is why we are talking again but I just don't know if I'm doing something wrong and I'm angry that he hasn't text me in these two days.. but if I confront him he'll be like your still the same and don't know how to chill. So I understand it's the weekend he may be busy but it doesn't mean it's okay to do that. I just wanted to know what works best in the situation, should I back off or just be patient?

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    • That's great I wasn't implying that your life was lacking just was suggesting it to get your mind off him.

    • Yeah I understand, it's a difficult situation. I'm upset because I thought he would have reached out to me by now and he still hasn't

Most Helpful Girl

  • back off girl.. cmon, he should be chasing after you.
    you already said he's not ready to commit, therfore chasing after him only means he's probably running away faster.
    no more texts or calls unless he responds.
    I get you guys are "bestfriends" whatnot, so maybe you should leave it at that.. I mean, think of it as being best friends with your girls. you don't chase after them right? stare at your phone for a reply? get mad if they're busy? no.
    treat him no different.
    until he tells you otherwise, don't wait around. do your thing. he clearly is.

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    • Yeah you're right, it's just that we aren't only friends it's a lot more than that if you know what I mean. I'm like that because it's long distance so I get worried easily, and I'm seeing him soon and he told me that he wanted to see me to rekindle our flame and see how things go. It's great in person but then over text he's like that which is frustrating. That's why it's different. How do I back off? In what ways could I back off?

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    • Okay but I only text him yesterday saying hey afte the ignored my last texts and he still hasn't responded, so I'm freaking out a little bc when we broke up he cut me off completely and suddenly and I get afraid that he'll do the same again. I thought he would hit me up later but nothing... and i feel like it's ungrateful considering I paid for his flight and everything and really wanted to see him. I'm putting my all into this and wanted things to work out. It's rude to ignore someone like that. If he does hit me up later I think I'll just act like I didn't care rather than confront him

    • ya you should. don't get so worked up, believe me I know it's hard when u really want something to work. but u need to start thinking the way he is about this. which to me seems "whatever". stop going out of ur way to do things for this guy who's clearly taking it & you for granted. stay busy now like I said, Do Not call/txt him no matter what. if he decides to hyu, fine. but if it seems you're not priority for him, time to move on.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Do not chase him. give him space even though it's the last thing u want to do. he might start to miss you. he feels dominant now and knows he has you on a string so he doesn't have to act like he cares bc you'll stay regardless

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  • he was an x for a reason

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