Do I chase her or let her go?

I was dating a girl for nearly six years when last Friday she said she needed time to find herself. I know this is an easy let down for girls and I took it hard but I did what she asked, yes I sent a text here and there but I wanted to let her know the things I was thinking while waiting for us to talk again. Yes things in our relationship had gotten stale but I can see that now and want to change that. I mean I was planning on proposing in 4 months and we had just started looking at buying a house together.
Right before this all happened she met me at the door with hugs and kisses and then cuddled me talking about how she wanted our families to hang out more, that's when it changed all of a sudden she said she needed to find herself because she didn't know who she was anymore. So yes I cried and she grabbed me and even tried to kiss me but stopped herself. I had to leave and so I gave her her time. Well a week has gone by and we talked on the phone and she seemed excited to talk to me and she told me what she had been doing and that she had been talking to guys trying to see what she wanted but she kept saying she couldn't find what I had in them. Well I told her of all the things I had been thinking about and doing as I took the time to self reflect. The phone call seemed great and she said I sounded like the guy she fell in love with again. So I made a little joke about coming to see her and it sounded like she wanted to but then she said she couldn't because she just didn't want to fall back into love but then she said maybe tomorrow. Well the next day she texted me and said she thinks we should cut all ties and move on.

Now here I am stuck at a crossroads of whether this is her trying to get me to chase her and step up to the plate or if she really wants me to let her go. Do I move on? Do I surprise her after work and see if there's anything left? Do I wait longer?


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  • Tell her something like this:
    "As you wish. This is the last time you'll hear from me. I will be here when you need me, for as long as I remain single. But it's on you to reach out to me. I hope you find happiness, [name].
    Love,
    [whatever_your_name_is]"

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  • Don't call her at all, because that is just going to make you look like a clingy beta male. If she is still interested in you, she will contact you. If she's not, then just move on.
    But going completely no contact might develop her feelings again. It might take weeks or even months but you can't chase her that is just stupid and I have lost few girls completely by doing that.

    I have learned my lesson, but you, please do not make the same mistake I did.

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  • Sounds like she still has feelings for you but isn't happy with how she is around you. As in maybe she isn't who she wants to be being with you. Prob not good to wait too long but couldn't hurt to try a few things to see how it turns out.

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    • Yes, I had changed throughout the relationship but now that I have done the self reflection over the week I know who I want to be and am but I feel like she's scared it's going to just go back to the way it was when that's not what I want

    • See if she would do a hangout day involving an activity so she can see for herself. Don't consider it a date

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