After breaking up, does it hurt the dumper when they breakup a relationship of a few years wtf is wrong with them?

the dumper, in my case the guy who was after me and who cared for me and was head over heals for me, dumped me over a fight because of some lies told by his friend. how can he just move on? are guys that much heartless?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It always hurts in some way whether he realises it sooner or later.

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    • because he has done so wrong. he broke up with me for such small reasons. well, the reasons that I know of. on social media he seems to be happy

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    • You can't do anymore than that, as long as he knows you are there for him if you need it that's all you can do.
      As selfish and heartless as it might seem sometimes when you are depressed, you just want to be alone.

    • yeah I felt like he just wants to be single because his depression doesn't make it easier for a person to be in a relationship. his friends are trying to get him a girlfriend but he's stuck on one thing and that's that he doesn't want a girlfriend. and that he'll stay single forever. I don't know what that means. so I figured he just wanted to be single

Most Helpful Girl

  • Give it time. Leave him alone. Go on with your life. He'll contact you again.

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    • I really do hope so

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    • no. I was talking about me reaching out to him is not an option anymore. because after the breakup I tried to talk to him but he didn't respond and after that I will never initiate any contact with him now

    • Good! And good luckπŸ’Ÿ

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What Guys Said 13

  • Depends on why they dumped them, if she cheated on me which hasn't happened but if she did I'd feel hurt for example. When I dumped my last girlfriend for a variety of reasons I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and am proud of myself for standing up for myself and doing the right thing. by the way, the fact that you're literally taking a sample size of one to represent the billions of guys in the world is likely one of the reasons he is glad he dumped you

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  • Hard to say, depends on each guy and their personal reasons for dumping their previous loved one. If he was genuinely head over heels for you though, I'd say it'd certainly have hurt him too, at least a little bit.

    Seeming it's a small and unfair reason for him to dump you, and you still seem to love him, why don't you confront him, person to person about it? It might be awkward, but if you convince him that his friend is lying (give him rebuttals against the other guy's lies and the find out about the other guy's intentions to convince your ex) and that you still love him, perhaps things can go back to normal, or at least you can put the past to rest if things still don't work out

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  • As an example, if a friend told you he was cheating and he claimed otherwise who would you believe. You'd say: I trust him, buuuut... let me check out his phone. He doesn't know whether his friends are lying or you are lying. It's hard to know, especially if you've lied to him before or "tested" him.

    Another possibility is that he broke up with you for other reasons and is just using his friends as an excuse so he doesn't confront you. I don't know enough about the situation to say with certainty though. People grow apart, shit happens, etc.

    It's hard, but you've got to deal with it yourself. Take a good objective look at yourself (writing it down might help) and see if you can improve. If he broke it up now, he would break it up in the future as well. It's better than him staying with you and being miserable, because you'd be miserable then too.

    About guys being heartless, please don't say stupid things

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  • If he believed the lies told by his friends, it's either:
    A) He trusts his friend 10x more than you.
    B) Those lies must be so brutal that he doesn't want to associate with you again.
    C) There might be more to it than you know.

    He isn't really heartless, if he hasn't moved to another girl yet and if he did that might be the reason to break up from the beginning, typically a guy takes longer time to get over a break up if he really loved his partner and invested in them.

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    • there's no other girl that's for sure because he really loved and cared for me.
      and the friend is like a brother to him there were ups and down in their friendship but they're kinda like brothers and yes I dont know what lies he told my ex about me but I know that they're so bad that my ex who loved me a month ago doesn't even want to talk to me and he wouldn't even give me a reason why he was just really very rude when breaking up he was acting up so much. maybe there's something else he's not tellimg me but I'm sure he's not telling me the lies his friend told him about me. I don't know what to do. I'm not going to initiate any contact because after a week or breaking up I texted him to ask what the reason was and he blocked me so I'm not going to contact him now. all I can do is hope for the best and hope that he realizes his mistakes and comes back to me

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    • If you think you deserve better that's a good sign, don't get your hopes up if you talk to him. Quite a childish move from him to believe his friends without talking to you especially after you've been together for so long.

    • yes, its like he wanted a break from being in a relationship. maybe I don't know though maybe there's something more to it that I dont know of

  • It's not a guy thing, it's because they felt the relationship was too strained, or was impacted too much to continue. It's not about being heartless, it's about recognizing (in their mind) that something needs to end.

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  • I don't think it hurts the dumper they do it and don't blink a eye.
    It hurts us the one being dumped but that happens we got to
    just move on with life.

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  • If he believe the lies told by his friend, he might think that you are a bad person. So maybe because of that he doesn't have remorse.

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  • No it doesn't hurt them, they've already moved on!

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  • he wasn't happy anymore... things happen and Noone ever tells the whole story why blah blah happened. just gotta move on and stop blaming him

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  • I would like to k ow your response on the same case.
    Except the dumper was a female. And the friend was not like her sister but had a crush on her. Infact, now they are a couple. and she did really love.

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    • sorry I didn't get it. what are you trying to say?

  • I did that once... reason being that I didn't want to get into a "he said, she said situation. We had only been seeing each other for a few months. How long were the two of you seeing each other?

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    • its was between three to four years now

    • That does change things. Sounds like communication issues were at play. I was seeing someone for 3 months when someone told me they had a friend who claimed they were also dating the same girl. When I confronted her she exclaimed they had lunch but that was it. Maybe that was true, but to protect my feelings I simply disengaged. I think it's easier and less messy than other ways. I do see how that is very difficult for the person being dumped.

    • yeah its very difficult and hurts like hell. yes there were communication issues. I didn't have tine to text or call him much and he didn't either but when ever we did call or meet eachother it was the best time. I don't know what has gotten into him.

  • Guess he had. many relationships before you so he had the experience of guilt before you

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    • we were bith each others first relationship and our relationship was of four years

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    • well I still don't get why he broke up with you out of a sudden and what lie his friend told him so maybe he is in the process of finding himself with his 'friend', if you know what I mean

    • hahaha lol I get it πŸ˜‚πŸ‘

What Girls Said 1

  • no it doesn't hurt

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