I cheated on my man. Would you leave me after you read what I did ((to guys only))

My man is 50 years old and I am 39 when we first got together he was just like that wanted to kiss have sex but not be committed. At first I went along with it because he said we was committed sexually meaning he was only having sex with me he would come in get some leave, take me where I needed to go. He never would let me go to his house because he said he don't trust no one to no where he lives. He never took me out to dinner nothing, we would break up all the time every time after we had sex he would say I just want to be your friend it would hurt me every time he said it I would cry about it all the time I just couldn't understand why he didn't want to be committed to me. After a year in a half of this bullsh*t I decided to have a fling with my ex-boyfriend I used to live in NYC but moved to Maryland so I invited him down from NYC at this time me in my boyfriend had broke up for a week, later in that week when my ex was supposed to be coming down my boyfriend came over in took the pussy. He said after we had sex you can give your p**** to anyone all I want is the ass. So that really did it for me it made what I was about to do with my ex right. So my ex came down we slept with each other after watching the fight this was in May with May weather. Now before he came down I had already told my boyfriend he was coming down remember we were broke up he was like yeah right he didn't believe me. That whole weekend my boyfriend never came by at all while my ex was there see he didn't care about me he was at a bar with I don't know who watching the game. Anyway we my ex left I confirmed it with my man by telling him what I did oh I keep saying my man remember he just wants to be friends. He was so hurt by what I did but he has made a 360 degree change always spends most of his time with me when he's not working take me and my daughter places now but the weirdest thing is happening now am accusing him all the time I think he is out cheating on me. What do you think about my situation my man has been struggling with this since it happened he brings it up everyday at least once a day. Do you think he loves me since he has changed so much? Do you think he's cheating on me or is it just my mind? Because of what I did he said he has never cheated on me I don't have any proof of him ever being flirtatious with women or anything. Oh in I go to his house when ever I want now even spend the night but I like my home better.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You were being used on HIS terms... and when he felt you were slipping away by associating with your old boyfriend -- he suddenly didn't take you for granted anymore. He was NOT committed to you but wanted ALL the benefits of having a "Girlfriend" to have sex with. Please have more respect for your body and yourself than that. Never allow a man to use you when he's not offering you love, respect, honesty, trustworthiness, or kindness. Now he's jealous and accusing you of everything under the Sun. Personally - I would lose this guy PRONTO. HE IS BAD NEWS. Find a man who adores you. This guy is NOT it. YES, you are on the right track. STAY HOME. You don't need to sleep over! Go out on dates ~ do fun things ~ You never did anything with this slug but sleep with him. Don't you deserve to be treated like a valued lady - the special person that you are? Do NOT let a guy dictate to you how things are going to go. And PLEASE do NOT sleep with a guy before you trust him and he knows you and what are about. If you have sex too soon - you have missed your opportunity to build on a friendship towards a REAL relationship. You can't go backwards to make a friendship~~! Please have respect for you and others will, too... You TEACH people how to treat you - and the people you are associating with are NOT treating you like someone they respect. YOU take care of YOU and make YOU and your daughter happy. Those guys are just bringing you down. Good luck, Sweetie. Please make better choices. If it feels bad to you, it's wrong. ALWAYS listen to your inner voice. If it feels wrong - it is.

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    • Hi Louise123

      Thank you for your comment on my situation your right it all started when I had sex with him to soon and didn't build a real friendship first. Before I slept with him I had been celibate for 3yrs in I also had moved to a new town it took me a while before I even talk to men out here but we got hook up by accident my girlfriend gave me his number in she gave him minds but it was suppose to be for other reasons in we both thought we wanted each other numbers to

      connect.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I read this twice & it was a lot for me to understand.

    1st why the mystery of where he lives & why doesn't he trust you? He's Married?

    Never wanted to be seen in public with you? He's Married?

    You put up with this for a year & a half. Why?

    He doesn't care if he can live with you giving it up to anyone.

    He made it quite clear that all he wants is a lay.

    It would be a 180 a 360 is a complete circle back to where he was. But why the 180?

    I see that the married question has now been answered since all of the sudden he goes out with you & now trusts you to bring him to his house.

    Not sure. Maybe he was trying not to have a commitment just sex & now he realizes that he may loose you.

    Cheated on you? Probably.

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    • The mystery of where he lived was for other reasons I can't get into but he is not married I spend the night over there now sometimes. The apartment is so small made for 1. Before I even slept with my ex he didn't trust me and before I got with him I was celibate for 3yrs so I don't know why he didn't trust me maybe because he didn't trust his self. I didn't say he doesn't take me in public he takes me where ever I want to go but we haven't been to many restaurants to sit only twice.

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    • Above that it says he did take me where I needed to go I just wanted more alone time going out to dinner more taking me in my daughter places which he does now

    • Like I wrote it was a lot to read & I did read it twice. I thought you meant like "needed" to go like appointments or something along those lines.

      So anyway it looks like all is going to work out well!

      I meant no disrespect as sometimes I don't always comprehend the written word the way someone is trying to convey it.

      Good Luck & I hope things work out for you & your daughter.

What Girls Said 1

  • PS If you are no tin a committed relationship - you are not cheating. He thinks he can do whatever he wants when you're not around. Unless you are EXCLUSIVE .. YOU are not boyfriend/girlfriend. You are only dating. There is a difference.

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    • Your right about everything in this is what I had started to explain to him after I cheated when I was trying to justify myself for what I did. I asked him how could you be hurt when all you wanted was the sex and to be friends he says I was wrong with the way I did things.

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