I don't know what I'll do if my boyfriend breaks up with me?

My boyfriend is incredible. He's the most thoughtful, generous, considerate, understanding, genuine guy I've ever met. We've only been dating for a little over a year, but I feel like I've known him my whole life. He's helped me get through so much and he's what puts a smile on my face everyday. We know eachother inside-out. We're only 17, and I know young relationships don't last forever, especially these days. Even the best relationships come to an end, that's just life. But I really don't know what I'll do when we break up. I don't know if I can live without him; he's my partner in crime. I never understood why people find breakups so hard. "Just tell yourself you deserve better. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Just get over it" I thought. But now I know why it's not so easy. I'm scared about how the breakup will affect me and I don't know if I'll be able to move on. I just need some advice or some encouragement

Updates:
I should have mentioned, he's been accepted to a private school for baseball that's really far away and he's thinking about going next year. He says if he goes we can make it work long distance and he'll come home to visit as much as he can, but I know that long distance relationships don't usually last long.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why worry about the future and ruin the present if he didn't already tell you this isn't working or even hinted at that? With that kind of thinking everyone might as well kill themselves now, they are just going to die sooner or later anyway. Deal with that bridge if you ever come to it. The way most deal with it is go through a depression stage and then just stay single for life or eventually find someone similar if it ended on good terms. For me I just quit doing relationships (last one 12 years ago), the drama, time, and effort isn't worth what I got in return.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, your relationship COULD last. Of course there are no guarantees, and it's true that you're young, which will make it more challenging to keep your relationship going. But if you two are truly right for each other, things could work out for you. If, on the other hand, your relationship doesn't last, then that probably means that it just wasn't meant to be.

    I know how you feel. My first love was intense. I thought he was the only person for me, the only one who could meet my needs and make me happy. So when he broke up with me, I was beyond devastated. I genuinely believed that my life was over and I'd never find happiness again. Fast forward a few years, and I'm with someone even more amazing, who is an even better match for me and makes me even happier. Don't be scared. If this relationship ends, then it will be because it was meant to, and you WILL find someone else.

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    • Long distance relationships are tough, and it's true that they often fail. But IF you two are really right for each other, and you're both willing to put in the effort and commitment to make the relationship work, then it's possible for it to last. I had one LDR that ended disastrously (leading to the aforementioned breakup), but I've also had one LDR that was successful (leading to the aforementioned super happy relationship). Please feel free to message me with questions if you'd like advice. I have a pretty good idea about what makes an LDR work, at this point.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • If you keep worrying about this, instead of actually enjoying while it lasts, you are the biggest fool on earth.

    Just live in the moment. Do not worry about future. If you guys are really good for each other, you will make it work. If it does not, break up will also be mutual and understanding, when it comes to it.

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  • I used to tell myself in a relationship, that if I wasn't with said girlfriend, I'd probably kill myself. I know that's deep and you might not be thinking that way. Life goes on I promise you, I'm not gonna give you bullshit and say "Plenty of fish in sea" but you shouldn't rely on him so hard, just let it happen and if you have to go separate ways, there shouldn't be any hard feelings right?

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  • lol. I don't think you should get in a relationship and think about the break up. Just enjoy as long as you can. I know young relationships don't always lady but you never know. You can be in that small percentage that stays until death. But if you do break up it'll be tough. Time heals all wounds. But hey maybe your boyfriend feels the same way.

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  • Do you have any indication that he wants to break up with you?

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    • The desire to make an LDR last is admirable but it is also idealistic. When you are separated for several months, each of you will see your friends going on dates, doing things as couples, you will be jealous, and eventually may feel resentful that you are "forced" to simply talk about a boyfriend who is almost never with you. That is when LDR's fail.

  • I'll tell you what you're going to do. You will move on with life and create new relationship eventually. Are break ups hard and sad? Yes, they are but you will be okay. Time heals scars, trust me. You shouldn't be thinking about what would happen. Trust your boyfriend and remember to talk with him about everything, even about small things.

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  • You really shouldn't be worried about this especially if your relationship is going great. Focus on what you have. Unless it's going to become long distance or something you have nothing to worry about.

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    • I would just stick it out but not be surprised if you break up.

  • if you guys care so much about each other then you should both try your hardest to not get bored in truth there is nothing that can keep you from being remorseful for the break up that I know of at least.

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  • Find someone else

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  • Don't worry about breaking up. There are plenty of guys who are great for their girls out there. The features you stated aren't that rare, although they're likely more common in the quiet types.

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  • If he's good looking, other women will pounce while he's away.

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  • There's a good chance this will happen many more times before you find your forever partner. Think of the next ten years as practice.

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  • If he hasn't broken up with you yet then you have nothing to worry about :)

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  • Life will be full of confusing, and unfair moments, but learning how to be a bigger person is one way to push through. Just calm down and take things in your own pace I'm sure you'll make it.

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  • there are always other men in the sea

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  • Having this thought​ would only bring insecurities in relationship and this could lead to a breakup (personal experience). So Don't let your insecurities ruin your beautiful present. If he really loves you he would never leave you!

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  • don't live in the future, live here and now!

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What Girls Said 12

  • Hi girl. I know we've never met, but I feel compelled to tell you this. I'm a year older than you and also have a boyfriend with many of the same qualities that yours does. I've realized like you that he's helped me so much in so many different ways. At the same time, i have the same fear as you, yet I'm not scared because I know that it wasn't meant to be. I'll always appreciate his help though and hold no hard feelings...

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  • Sometimes people get lucky and find their soulmate at a young age. That could be you two. You never know, but instead of worrying about breaking up in the future, work in keeping your relationship great right now. Nuture what you have at this moment, you'll have a better shot at keeping the love alive and making the long distance thing work.

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  • Why are you guys breaking up?

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  • Why are you guys breaking up?

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  • Relationships normally don't end when you're in love and everything's fine. They will end when something's off and until then you'll probably stop idealizing your boyfriend so much and understand why the breakup is happening in the first place.

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  • Don't focus on the breaking up part because it will drive you to insecurity which fast tracks the break up. There is no certainty that you WILL break up, you may even go on to marry. Just keep going the way you are and don't worry about the 'if's'. Even in the chance that you WILL break up it will most likely be for a good reason and it will help you grow. It won't be easy but you'll know that it wasn't meant to be. In any case, you may even reconnect after a break up. You never know what the future has in store for you.

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    • In regards to the update, you can beat the stereotype and if he is willing to make it work then why are you trying to avoid his efforts and conform to societal expectations?

  • Just live in the moment. If a break up happens it happens and you'll deal with it then. But right now, you shouldn't be worrying about it

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  • That's the sad thing about relationships, you know they're going to end.

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  • I know you feel like this now but believe me life goes on. You might even find one better then him.

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  • I feel like that with my boyfriend. Yet I understand that things that are challenged head-on will most likely rise in the end.

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  • I had all this with a guy too. he was also affectionate, caring loving etc. I'm not trying to scare you but he broke up with me twice. we got back together once because the break up was mostly my fault and I made everything better, but this time its not my fault , he just took his anger and depression out on me and he has changed. so this time I'm not doing anything else. maybe yours will turn out to be different. why are you even scared right now that he'll break up with you?

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