Cancer, do I tell him?

I dated my ex for four years. For the past 2, we lived together... We broke up 2 months ago and he moved out. He still receives mail at my house and has been coming to pick it up. Due to such, he's aware of some symptoms that I was having and keeps asking me if I've found anything out. It turns out that I do in fact have a malignant tumor in my lymph node. We don't talk much, in fact I don't speak with him except for when he swings by once a month (soon to stop as I'm moving next week). The question is- do I mention it? He won't find out from mutual friends, as we really have none. My concern in saying so is that he will try to get back into the relationship. Guys-- would you rather know or not?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would want to know. Even if you guys did break up I'm sure you know that he must still care a whole lot about you. I feel that you should tell him because he will provide more support in your time of need.

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    • Thank you for your answer. He does care a lot about me still, but I don't want him to feel that he needs to be around for support. Nor do I want him to feel any guilt about the break up...

    • Hmm I understand what your saying. But even though that may be true I would feel even worse if a girl I cared about was ill and probably blame myself for not figuring it out on my own. Let him know your ok with the break up if you are and you will not give him a reason to feel guilty. Hope that helps :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • regardless of the situation you two are in, he still cares about u. that being said, you need to tell him. keep him informed in the coming days on how things are coming along as well. support during this time is going to be something you will need, and undoubtedly, he would be around to support u

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you want him to know - tell him. I don't know if your break up was a painful one - or you just agreed to part company as friends - If so, he might make a wonderful support system - which is so important now as you face a huge battle in your life. Sounds like you broke up with him since you are afraid he'll want to get back in the relationship. If you feel it's better to make a clean break and don't feel that close to him anymore - I wouldn't mention it. Nobody says you have to start a relationship again - that is your choice if he suggests it. Don't let that hold you back. You know him better than we do - is he a caring, supportive, and loving person? Or .. is he just done with you and could care less what happens to you down the road? Only you can decide. I wish you a speedy recovery - there are so many wonderful protocols for getting you cured! God Bless, Sweetie. You have a lot on your plate right now. Gather your friends/family around you - they will give you strength. Hugz.

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  • Yes, he was an important part of your life and it's reasonable for him to be curious about your health since you had problems. He can try to get back in the relationship all he wants, in the end it's your choice!

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