Is this the right move?

So long story short, I started off friends with this girl, started really liking her, then she said, when asked, that I "was a really great guy and she really likes me as a friend but does not feel for me that way". I didn't take it personally and we still talked for a while. A few weeks ago I said I valued her as a friend and she said "we can talk whenever!". So lately I have tried texting/Facebook or whatever to start a conversation but it seems like she doesn't really care about talking.

I feel like I made A LOT of effort to get to know her (I enjoyed it) but she didn't really get a chance to get to know me. I feel like the best thing for me to do is to meet another girl. I really liked her personality but I think trying to talk anymore may push her away.

Am I right to intentionally show a lack of interest toward her? Or am I overreacting about the whole situation?

Any help is appreciated!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I remember seeing a quote somewhere that highlighted how completely illogical this type of scenario is... To paraphrase, it went something like this:

    It's like applying for a job interview, and being told by the interviewer that, even though you're the perfect candidate for the job, they will never hire you, and instead complain to you whenever they end up dissatisfied with the one(s) they hired over you.


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What Girls Said 2

  • totally right move.

    trying too hard after she's already stated her mind will def turn her off.

    maybe eventually she will realize that she really did want what you were offering and come around... or maybe not. best leave that up to her.

    in the meantime, take time for yourself to be you and someone else may pop up along the way. you never know and there are many fish in the sea... cliche, but so true.

    • I mean I still talked to her after (This rejection happened early June). I hope it didn't seem like I tried too hard after the fact. I just tried (when we talked) to seem like it never bothered me and I think I leaned more toward being friendly than trying to "get her to like me". thanks for the advice!

  • YEP, on to the next one!

    • Yep I think that's what I want to do, but it is tough going from liking this girl soooo much to cutting it off. Any tips on how to get over it?

    • Honestly the best way to get over it is finding someone else...even if it's not a crush, at least find a girl to just talk to in the mean time. I'm not saying to "use" a girl, like don't lead her on if you're not that interested...but it's nice to at least have someone to talk to.

What Guys Said 2

  • Found the question confusing, not sure if this will help. But if you are still trying to get her as more than a friend move on, your in the friend zone. For a guy getting out of the friend zone is like a girl getting out of the friends with benefits category.

    • I tried to tell myself that I would like her as a friend, but in the back of my head I'll still have some kind of feeling for her. I do want to try to get over it though

  • you're right for moving on. I was friends with a girl I liked for 2 years after she rejected me with the hope that she would change her mind. trust me, you will be just friends forever.


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