He says I'm trying too hard, what does that mean?

Me and my ex have starting talking again after realising things, and we are just seeing how things work out. We had many months of space apart in the time I changed and grew up, and I didn't want to lose him so I fought for him, he's real important to me. As he was my bestfriend prior to dating, so we are friends at the moment but it's more than friends.. but we aren't dating as it's not the right time and we have circumstances. We just want to get to know one another again and start afresh. We have a really good bond and a deep connection, and things seem to be going well. We are just enjoying each other's company. He flirts with me and talks to me more than a friend. I still love him and he says he likes me a lot. But understandably he is hesitant due to our past so we want to take things slow. I'm the type to show someone I care by making extra effort and really trying because it just makes me happy knowing I've made someone else happy. I wanted to do a nice gesture for him and he was shouting saying I'm only doing that so he could want me and chase me. Which is so so wrong, I have always been this way and I don't believe in giving and receiving, I just think it's nice to give to people from the heart. I feel like he just think I'm this bad person and doesn't understand my intentions. So I expressed how I felt and he told me that I try too hard.
What am I supposed to do? What does that mean? What are ways in which I don't come across in that manner?


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What Guys Said 3

  • figure out what makes him tick. does he respond more to casual compliments, or random gifts, or physical displays of affection, or just time spent together talking and hanging out. we are feel love from different methods whether we realize it or not. find out what that might be and use it to express your love in casual random times that fit the time best.

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    • It seems that everything makes him tick😒 I feel as if no matter what I do I'm not good enough. I don't know, I feel like I'm making extra effort because I want to impress him and I don't want things to be like they used to and also I'm showing him how I've changed. I show him my love a lot and he knows that but I don't think it's appreciated. I only do all those things because I want him to know how much I care and love him..

    • follow your gut. if you are not being appreciated and you are trying the best you can. make sure he's aware of your feelings. if he doesn't try harder then he's not good enough for you.

  • I don't believe you can try too hard
    Dude, he loves you? He's told you?

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    • No he likes me a lot

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    • How were things previously? Are you sure it isn't love?

    • 'Liking alot' is how it appears at first, then you realise it's actually more

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