Tough to Let Go?

In a nut shell, I was dating a guy for 2 yrs. There was a consistent problem in our relationship of him not trusting me. We broke up in September of last year. He moved three hours away, and some how and for some reason we continued to stay connected, with occasional visits bubbling in romance and lust. It is now almost a year and we are still doing this constant battle-dance where we're "happy" think we should work it out, paired with bi-weekly "maybe we shouldn't, and, I can't trust you" dynamics.

I'm fed up, yet, feel like I can't move on, nor, want to. Am I the only one who's been "stuck" like this? Can anyone relate, and if so, did you get out and get over it?

Sincerely; Slowly burning out...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, definitely not, I am in exactly the same situation, my ex-partner of 2yrs moved 3hrs away 18mths ago, said we cannot live together, we would argue over silly little things and he would leave (immature). Anyway, since we broke up 12 months ago, he as had two serious other girlfriends, both have moved into his home, and one he got engaged, moved in and was going to marry after 3 months. His girlfriend now is moving in tomorrow, but he is still txting me saying "don't give up on my yet" and saying things like he cannot trust me - I haven't had a boyfriend since we separated.. I know I'm being played and I guess in a way so might you be, but I think our heads tell us that, but our hearts say something else. Your normal, and the way I look at it, each time they say, no can't be with you, is one time closer to us being able to say, we'll that it's, forever. It seems to hurt less each time, or we deal with it better. It will be there loss. If you went back, it would be more of the same, and can you do that again, it will burn you out. Stay strong.

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  • I haven't been in the situation but I can understand how hard it would be to let go. But I think you need to, you are only making it worse by continuing the relationship and deepening your feelings for him when it will probably end in pain.
    Not to mention the constant 'I can't trust you', that's hard enough, even without the romantic lusty nights mixed in.

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  • I was in a 3 year relationship in which my ex did not trust me much at all. I didn't think it was a issue at all at first, and even thought it to be kind of sweet. But trust me you are so much better off by not having a relationship like this. These relationships will always start off with harmless questions he asks. Such as, " Who was that", or by telling you he does not believe the answer that you gave him. Sound familiar? Also think back if you did anything to deserve this treatment, I know I didn't. And I'm sure you didn't either. This behavior from him will only get worse, its always happened in every jealous relationship I've been in and observed. These jealous questions and comments will ultimately lead to way too many arguments. Other than knowing your better off, I suggest that you immediately cut off all contact with him, talking to an ex will only make it harder to even at least get him out of your system. I understand you don't even feel your ready move on yet, but think about this: If ,for that whole year that you guys were broke up, you two didn't talk at all. Would you still be this upset ? He is not only blaming you underhandedly by saying "maybe we shouldn't, and, I can't trust you" for his own jealousy and reason not to be involved with you. But he is wasting your time and emotion by wanting you around, yet not wanting to be with you. I know how it feels to not want to even get over someone , be stuck and burnt out. But the only way to get out from this emotionally draining kind of situation, is to cut off all contact with him. And not just for a few months, take as long as you need to get him out of your system. You really need to love your self more than you could ever love or hate another person, in order to make it in some situations. It hard as heck trust me, but it is more than worth it in the long run. I'm sure you already know you deserve better. Just have faith that through this no contact process, that you WILL get him out of your system and out of your head. Don't ever fool your self into believing he's the best you can do nor that he's at all unique in this kind situation. good luck : )

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